Breaking News

This Week's "Awww...." Moment

2010-02-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

This Week's "Awww..." Moment is brought to us by the Breaking Newsroom's resident dynamic puppy and kitty duo - Putter & Simon.

Yes, I am that kooky about my four-legged babies. And yes, that Lab looks really big. It's also an extremely unflattering angle.

What can I say? She ate her way through the holidays.

Come on. It's not like you passed on the bacon-wrapped scallops, either.

Stay tuned.

More at 11.

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

A Gift for Every Girl on the Go

2010-02-02T09:05:00.001-05:00

Aren't we always looking for that sweet little something for a friend's birthday, token of appreciation for an act of selfless friendship or just because...she's a gal who can't be without her vodka fairy for very long. (Isn't that why you're friends in the first place?)

Faux Croc Mini Keychain Flask from Z Gallerie

Pave Mini Keychain Flask from Z Gallerie

Not sure what I find more disturbing - the fact that your options are faux croc or blinged-out or Z Gallerie's description that includes the phrase "...one ounce of freedom."

OR because it's a flask. On a KEYCHAIN.

J. Crew did the same thing two holiday seasons ago and all pieces were promptly removed from retail locations after the company was battered with complaints. (Don't worry I scored two on the interwebs...thinking it would be a collector's item or an excellent way to sneak booze into football games.)

Oh, please. Like you weren't thinking the same thing!

For $6.99 and $9.99 respectively - you can buy one for the spare set too...

Stay tuned. More at 11.

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

Passie(ing) Judgement

2010-02-01T09:05:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer: I am not a parent to anything with two legs. All statements written here are those of someone who is smart enough to know she is ill-equipped for the challenges of parenting another human being. BUT, is absolutely armed with the knowledge to judge the skill set of others.

Sense of humor and grain of salt required for reading the following post.

There I was in Fresh Market (Year 2010: Week 4: Visit 2) cruising around throwing overpriced pita chips, chicken salad and chutney in my basket - all while shooting their complimentary hazelnut coffee with Hood creamer. Hell, yes. It was a good day...

After I hit the final frontier (the dairy aisle) and loaded up on my $2.00 Greek yogurt, I spotted an older woman making THE most hideous face of disgust. What could it be?

Was her bourbon salmon looking suspect? Out of organic eggs? Did she realize her raspberry pillow cookies were going to be near impossible to peal apart- which will undoubtedly force her to eat two cookies every time? (No, I do not know that from experience. I've just heard that's what happens...)

And then I spotted her - the cause of such a look.

Approximately 3 1/2 feet tall, fleece lined crocks bedecked and bedazzled with those giblets - or whatever they are, butterflies embroidered on her blue jeans with a sparkly matching tee...she looked like a lot of other four or five year old little girls. Painted nails, ring, bracelet and pierced ears - did give her an air of sophistication (or a whiff of tartlet in the making - depending on where you fall down on these things...)

Then I gazed upon the bright blue passie in her mouth. And I was riveted.

My eyes immediately went to her mother, who I was prepared to look like a disaster. Obviously, someone who had stopped fighting the good fight and was just worn out by her minis.

Nope. She was as fresh as the morning dew. With a killer Marc Jacobs bag, might I add.

I was thoroughly perplexed. And extremely curious (read: obsessed) so I just happened to find myself in the same checkout lane. Fancy that!

FYI...Children either love me or want nothing to do with me. I mean I'm not Mrs. Oleson,but I ain't Miss Beadle either.

I'm so glad I wore my big girl Chanel sunnies to the store and KJL enamel bangles, because this little girl recognized a kindred gypsy spirit and immediately removed her passie to chat me up.

Excellent.

Little girl: "I have mani-coor."

Me: "Ohhh! I love your sparkly pink nails. So fun!"

LG: "Look at my ring. It's pink too."

Me: "So fabulous!"

LG: "It's like your ring..."

Before I burst her little bubble with, "No, honey - I had to dig through ten trays of crappy jewelry from an estate to find this bad boy. And had to spoon feed it to my then boyfriend, who proceeded to tell me he wasn't ready to buy a ring - even if it was the perfect ring, a great deal and only in his best interest - AND even if it meant he could sit on it for a few months, maybe a year."

No, baby girl - I had to work hard for this bauble.

LG: "I have a passie."

Me: "Indeed."

Out of the corner of my eye I watched to see if mum flinched. Or got flustered. Nope.

So let me get this straight - you let your little girl have her nails painted, wear jewelry, have pierced ears AND let her rock the passie in public. Just seemed ridiculous.

Let me reiterate, I have ZERO parenting experience but, I can assure you if my mini Mrs. News Readin' understands what a manicure is and acutually has one - her passie is a very distant memory.

It took EVERYTHING in my being to not throw out my dollar's worth of two cents. Something along the lines of, "Big girls have manicures, but usually not passies."

Succint, yet powerful.

LG: "You're pretty."

And with that - I realized that this child was wise beyond her years. Brilliant, even.

Who cares if she takes that passie to college? I took my prom picture. My roommate brought coke. It's all about feeling "at home..." Right?

Yet another shining example of why I am ill-equipped to manage a mini. Sigh.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

Dear Audrina : Really Feeling All That Global Warming

2009-12-03T09:35:00.001-05:00

Soooo....I'm not dead. Just in hibernation. And might I add - for good reason.

No, I am not with child. I'm awaiting the arrival of the genetic masterpiece that is Gisele and Tom Brady's baby to arrive. That way - I can see if the old adage of two good looking people always have an unattractive child holds water. If they can't make it happen, then the News Readin' Husband and I have got ZERO shot. But, I digress...

***

In my usual morning cruise around the interwebs, I stumbled upon this image of Audrina Partridge of the Hills (and sundry naughty photo fame.) Oh, and she used to not have an upper lip.

Look at you, muffin! LA girl just doin' a little shopping in NYC. West Coast style in full effect...Fun knit cap and...bare arms?! Really?

Yes, it was mild. 57 degrees. But, 57 degrees in Manhattan is slightly different feeling than 57 degrees in LA. Look around sweetie. Everyone else on the street is hunkered down in some sort of clothing that covers the arms. After all, it is December.

Maybe I'm not giving enough credence to your furry vest.
(BTW - Is that Chewbacca or Scottish Highland Cattle?)

Either way - exotic!

As my mother would say, are you trying to catch your death walking around like the Breath of Spring? Like you, I would fiercely deny any chill. And you are wearing a hat.

Enough silliness. Those sticks for arms could use a leetle insulation. Now run along, and go grab a mini leather jacket somewhere.

You didn't go through all that trouble of inflating that upper lip just to cover chattering teeth!
Give my best to Justin Bobby and co.

Air kisses,

Mrs. NR

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Bon Voyage

2009-09-17T14:15:00.004-04:00

We're off for a whirlwind trip to Spain for my childhood bestie's wedding.

Four days.
Seven pairs of shoes.
Six dresses.
A pound of jewelry.
A husband who knows ZERO Spanish.

And a new camera.

Oy.

Be back on Monday with a full report.

xoxo,
Mrs. News Readin'

Our New Addition

2009-09-16T07:30:00.002-04:00

Calm down. The Mommy Mafia has not claimed me...yet.

We would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the newest member of the News Readin' household - Simon.

Big Sister, Putter is still trying to figure out why we had to get another kitty.

I told her that instead of costing us money like her (open heart surgery, visits with a canine cardiologist, physical therapy for ligament damage, etc.) - he is earning his keep.

He's already killed two mice. Oh, and he's only four months old.

We are so proud!

xoxo,
Mrs. NR

"I carried a watermelon..."

2009-09-15T07:30:00.003-04:00

If you are unfamiliar with this movie quote, then I recommend you scoot right along to the next post in your google reader queue.

For those reading this who are not communists and recognize the line that Baby utters to Johnny Castle at the after party in Dirty Dancing - we are meant to be friends. (Stick around. I give pretty good birthday gifts.)

"I carried a watermelon..." is exactly what I say when I find myself embarrassed by an item I may have blurted out for usually one of two reasons:

1) I've been over-served by a bartender or myself (more often than not it is by my own hand)
2) My Sweet & Thoughtful pills ran out and the real me shows up...gah. Hate those days.

We recently attended a very lovely 30th birthday party for a dear friend and member of our game night group. The sweet tea vodka flowed and I became a casualty of my own seemingly bottomless highball glass. The good news - I was sweet...not so much thoughtful.

There are five couples in our game night group. It's a well-balanced bunch. We've got a good thing going. No need to fiddle with the recipe. Right? Well, after four drinks this cook headed to the kitchen.

A very cute couple mentioned how they wanted to start their own game night group. I responded quickly - "Pish. We've done all the leg work...just to come to ours next month."

Fast forward an hour later- chatting with another couple, the Williams*, game night was again mentioned. And, I offered up an invitation to next month's gathering.
*Names have been changed to protect the boring and dis-invited.

Later on the nicest woman in our group (Daisy Troop leader, teaches Boot Camp every morning at 5 am, coaches her church's youth basketball league...you get it) asked, "Did I hear you invite the Williams to game night? They are terrible."

Ruh-roh.

So, I can only hope that they indulged in equal parts sweet tea vodka resulting in general alcohol induced memory fuzziness and will not be ringing the doorbell in a few weeks for our Connect Four Tournament.

Yet again - "I carried a watermelon..."

Mr. News Readin' let me know that if we are asked to leave the game night group he will formally protest and petition to retain his membership, but will accept my dismissal based on inappropriate conduct.

Thanks, dear. The support is overwhelming.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

**Edited to add: When I penned this - I had no idea it would coincide with the passing of Patrick Swayze. No one made dancing or the Catskills sexier and inspired millions to "try the lift."

Special Report: Size Denial

2009-09-14T07:30:00.000-04:00

On a recent outing of the Breaking News Team to a local festival - I nearly went blind. After surveying the crowd, I decided we must live in a locale that is experiencing a severe shortage of mirrors. Although, not as life-as-we-know-it threatening as the dwindling water supply of metro-Atlanta, alarming nonetheless.

How could we have let this happen?!

Thank heavens I was wearing the biggest, darkest sunglasses my nose will support - otherwise I'm sure I would be writing this from the comforts of a hospital room with two black eyes and bruised ribs. What can I say? If ogling poor fashion choices were a sport, I would be Olympic.

Back to our special report...size denial is reaching epidemic proportions.

Main offenders:

Little Bags for Big Girls

In college, hippie girls wore them across their person to carry their well, patchouli oil and other sundry hippie girl supplies. You're an adult now and your little, itty, bitty handmade bag from Ecuador ain't cutting it. Additionally, the tiny shoulder bag stuffed to the gills with everything from an arsenal of lady products and your school coupon book needs to be retired. I know, I know..."But, everything fits in there..."

The bigger the bag, the smaller you look. So, size up.*

*Note: This of course does not apply to small, sleek and chic evening and envelope bags. So don't go sending any crazy comments about how you can't always carry a bag the size of a toddler. I know this - I just practice it in moderation.

The Seduction of the Smaller Size

My friend Catherine has fallen prey to this throughout her adult life. Regardless of how the garment fits - she will buy a size 4 because she cannot bear the idea of sizing up. Sadly, I have seen her split two pairs of pants and had the great misfortune of literally cutting her out of a Lilly skort. According to her it had a faulty zipper. Ummm...yeah.

Even though the smaller size fits, it doesn't mean its the right size. At the end of the day it is just a number. Jackie O wore everything one size bigger. For good reason.

Denim Gives

Good gracious is the greatest of myths! It seems that the 20 and under crowd are especially susceptible to the dread muffin top. Sure, those low slung jeans elongate your torso - but their restrictive sizing are also causing your flesh to spill over the belt loops.

For one- you cannot be comfortable! I want to unbutton my pants just looking at you. And sadly, you've paired your mis-sized denim with a form fitting t-shirt. Sweet. Baby. Jesus. What did we ever do to you?? Have you never heard of a babydoll top? Find one. Stat. At the very least...

One last thought on denim -if you think your bottom looks smaller without pockets - you are KIDDING yourself. Step away from pocket-less pants. PUH-lease.

This has been a special report - LIVE from my Perch of Perfection in the Breaking Newsroom.

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

And, we're back.

2009-09-13T20:00:00.001-04:00

We experienced significant technical difficulties this past month in the Breaking Newsroom.

Frankly, I felt that rather than put out half-hearted content it would be best to take a breather, a moment to get my act together and regroup.

Oh, and I was busy organizing my dream closet.

*All images courtesy of HalogenLife.

*Sigh* I wish...

Love the Hermès boxes across the top shelves and the steamer trunk dresser.

If I had a Mr. Big - this is the closet he would build me.

Stay tuned. More at 11. (I promise...)

xoxo,
Mrs. News Readin'

Today

2009-09-11T09:30:00.000-04:00

My thoughts about today remain the same today as they were one year ago and sadly - eight years ago. So, I am re-posting what I wrote one year ago today.

My heart still breaks when I think about the families that face marking another year without their loved ones. My heart breaks for this country that will never enjoy the same bliss of security. However, the strength of spirit and commitment to this country were never stronger then in the days immediately following September 11, 2001.

We should never let that wane - no matter how many years pass.

******
September 11, 2008

I wish today were just another day. I wish I didn't remember what I was doing seven years ago today. I wish I didn't know anyone who marks this day by going to a memorial service or visiting a place of final rest.

As an American and moreover a New Yorker - my heart breaks and tears well in my eyes when I think of the events of seven years ago and the services I attended following September 11, 2001. Listening to eulogies about amazing fathers, sons and friends who went to work like it was any other day.

For months afterwards, I would walk to work past St. Patrick's Cathedral and hear bagpipes and see firefighters or police officers lined up to pay honor to a fallen brother or sister in service. Groups of strangers would stand together in silence on nearby corners fighting back tears.

One of my dear friends lost her brother-in-law. Another friend lost his father and another - his brother. A girl I knew in high school lost her fiancé on one of the planes that hit the towers. A friend from college lost her dear friend, a flight attendant who picked up an extra flight when someone called in sick. My mother had a little boy in her preschool class whose father, a firefighter, stayed on after his shift finished - to go to the Towers.

It's not just another day. I do remember where I was and exactly what I was doing. And unfortunately, there are too many people attending memorial services and visiting places of final rest today.

Let us not forget this was not an accident or tragic natural disaster that robbed so many families and friends of just one more phone call, birthday party, Christmas morning, Thanksgiving dinner, goodnight kiss, births of children of grandchildren, weddings or just a funny email.

This was a deliberate, calculated and well orchestrated mass murder. We owe it to the families who lost so much seven years ago today, to never - never - never forget and seek justice against every last person involved, responsible or supportive of these acts.

But for today, here is a prayer that we can say for those who had so much taken from them on September 11, 2001:

An Irish Prayer in times of Sorrow

May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.

Crescent City Recap: Part I

2009-08-12T07:30:00.001-04:00

One weekend in June, I headed to New Orleans for a bit of work, some play, retail therapy and plenty of epicurean indulgence. It was gorgeous.

The beauty of a city like New Orleans is that everyone is sweating - even the locals that are fully acclimated to 102 degrees with 87% humidity. Lightly patting your glistening brow takes on an air of sultry - even sexy. At least that what I kept telling myself...

My Friday was chocked-full of work, but upon cocktail hour - everyone remembered we were in New Orleans. We headed to Dickie Brennan's Bourbon House. The bartender convinced me as a Bourbon House virgin (go ahead - get your sixth-grade giggling out of the way) that I must have their famous Frozen Bourbon Milk Punch. Not my first draft pick for cocktail hour - but I enjoyed it very much. Think egg nog's lighter, yummier cousin.

If you are wondering what the N'awlins connection is to the distinctly Kentucky spirit, it's an interesting one. Read about it here.

We enjoyed an authentic Cajun dinner at Cochon. Usually I think of alligator in terms of accessories. But as they say - when in the bayou...devoured delicious fried alligator tenders. The pineapple upside down cake dessert may have been laced with crack cocaine. I almost ordered a second. Good lawd!

On Saturday afternoon I hopped on a street car to take in the Garden District and visit my only two retail destinations: Leontine Linens' flagship store and Hazelnut New Orleans.

With our Wedding Belle's upcoming nuptials, what better excuse to pay a visit to Leontine in search of the perfect wedding gift. Mission accomplished!

Thanks to the sweet Brooke at Leontine, who narrowed my focus and provided a much needed glass of water and a lunch spot recommendation.

My apologies for the poor photography - but I don't have the same photographic flair as Sippycups.

If you think I strolled back to my hotel without picking up a little something for moi - well, you know better.

Hazelnut New Orleans Toile coasters (fabric pictured above)

Love having the reminder of the Crescent City during cocktail hour in City K!

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Well played, Tory.

2009-07-29T10:30:00.001-04:00

I am about to go where very few have gone before...Tory Burch just doesn't do it for me.

Let's review all the reasons why I should be brandishing just about everything from TB.

Cute prints: check.
Flattering cuts: check
Darling accessories: check
Generally overpriced unless scored on Outnet, Gilt or the like: check

So - why don't I lurrrv her like (seemingly) everyone else?

Maybe it's because I feel like she raided my grandmother's closet, took copious notes breezing through cocktail party photos from the early '70's, stuck a gold insignia on it and then convinced Oprah she was better than Spanx.

And I'm envious that I didn't beat her to it.

Then I spied these:

Tory Burch "Reva" Suede Python Print Ballet Flat

A sucker for the color, the python print leather/suede combined with the comfort of a flat - I'm considering being that girl and pre-ordering for fear come Fall they will be a retail memory.

Well played, TB. But, consider this a "wanna grab a drink" text from a potential suitor - definitely not a weekend escape to the Seychelles with your sugar daddy. I mean...we just met and hardly know each other.

I'm not that kind of consumer.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Paging Joy: Your Party Waits in Arrivals

2009-07-28T09:15:00.003-04:00

Lately I've had the pleasure (or displeasure) of spending time in airports. Fun destinations aside - airports are usually miserable places.

From the "easy" kiosk check-in which seems to take more time than the good old-fashioned human check-in process to the endless security lines, where measures that have been in place for eight years still take people by surprise - it all is just exasperating.

Note to the lady in Chicago that balked at having her massive aerosol can of hairspray and industrial size bottle of Jean Naté bath splash taken away...they did you a favor. Say thank you and head to the nearest Sephora to regroup.

And let me not fail to mention the oversold, delayed flight scenario that is more the standard than the exception. All in all - flying commercial couldn't be any less pleasant.

Which is probably why most travelers are, generally speaking, grumpy. Reeaaallyyy grumpy. I counted myself as one of those grumpy travelers until I read this piece from Chris Jones for Esquire.

Shared with me by a dear friend, who is a veteran traveler of the skies, it brought tears to my eyes and reminded me that happiness exists just beyond the confines of baggage claim.

I thought it was very share worthy...

Stay tuned. More at 11.

It's not an Emmy. But, we'll take it.

2009-07-21T09:30:00.001-04:00

Acknowledgement for a job well done in Mr. News Readin's real newsroom is tough to come by.

Yes - we joke that he merely touches up the bronzer, straightens the tie, clears his throat a few times and reads the teleprompter to the masses. In actuality, he does quite a bit of work and a whole lot of schlepping around to gain interviews and sound bites for our viewing pleasure.

July is sweeps. This means all of a sudden you are watching in-depth reports on bus driver drug use and the dangers of pools in the backyards of foreclosed homes. The good stuff...

The NRH sweeps story covered the transport of coal fly ash from a spill area not far from here to a very poor county in Alabama. And we're not talking about one train car of this stuff. More like 1.1 billion gallons that will take an entire year to remove.

For this fine moment of reporting he was awarded - drum roll, please...
the Reporter of the Week!

Here is a snippet from his News Director's email, which he forwarded me (big mistake):

For the first time in a while I can officially call the Reporter of the Week a “landslide winner. “
Mr. News Readin is this week’s winner for his “Ash to Alabama” stories.

First I’d like to give Mr. NR credit for coming up with this idea as his one sweeps suggestion for July.
(Our guy thought it was that solid he only submitted one! My! The confidence...)

His co-workers wrote:

“Anyone who watched it won’t forget the line “smells like money.”
“Any journalist who can get a politician to sniff fly-ash on tape is pretty good.”
“He asked the right questions, made excellent points in his stand-ups."

Others receiving votes this week:
Jill for her second massage parlor bust story and her substitute teacher lawsuit story.
Whitney -- for her follow-up on the local church that burned down.

(I left that last part in because for some reason it made me laugh...)

We are so proud...Of course there was a celebratory dinner last night - consisting of beer and cheeseburgers by special request of the honoree.

If they made bumper stickers that said, "I'm the proud wife of a Reporter of the Week" - it would already be on the back of the Tahoe.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

A Tisket, A Tasket

2009-07-20T16:30:00.001-04:00

Who doesn't love a picnic? Well, me.

Love the idea of a picnic. Everything perfectly fits in adorable containers and off you go for a meal in the grass. It's the aftermath that makes picnicking - notsomuch.

If it weren't so irresponsible - I probably would prescribe to the Betty Draper guide to picnicking and leave everything behind. (Reference Mad Men Season 2 Episode 7 - brilliant.)

If you have hung out around here long enough, you already know the Breaking News Team is more about the gear than the actual activity.

To picnic - I probably just need the perfect basket. Right?

Voilà! How about a little red basket? Courtesy of Blyton and available at Dean & DeLuca.*

*Barefoot Contessa not included for preparations of perfect picnic fare. Damn.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Being awkward has its rewards.

2009-07-20T06:30:00.001-04:00

In the deep recesses of the attic, in a box of old family pictures - it lays there waiting for its moment to shine.

Maybe you were wearing your red Snoopy glasses and had just gotten your braces tightened...wait that was me.

Maybe your creepy Uncle Ned was lurking in the background...no, wait - that's my bestie Hilary.

Regardless, we all have these photos tucked away hoping that they never see the light of day or make their way into the wrong hands for a rehearsal dinner photo montage.

Now you have bigger things to worry about. Those embarrassing "Why the hell was I wearing a selection from Bill Cosby's sweater collection with stirrup pants and hi-top Reeboks?!" pictures have a purpose.

A website devoted to others laughing at your awkward moments: AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

Be prepared to spend about 20-30 minutes cruising through other's photographic misfortune - and secretly hoping you don't stumble upon your own.

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Let Freedom Ring...or Liberty...or Independence

2009-07-04T09:00:00.001-04:00

Happy Fourth of July!

The Breaking News Team is basking in the warm glow of the sunny, south Georgia coast.
Life can be so tough sometimes.

We are working on this story for you: Fourth of July served up Sea Island style. (Think starred and spangled to the hilt...) Stay tuned for a full report.

In the meantime...stumbled across these fun facts that you may or may may not find interesting.

Fourth of July (Inspired) Fun Facts

* Thirty places nationwide have "liberty" in their name.
* The most populous one is Liberty, Missouri (26,232).
* Iowa has more of these places than any other state:
four (Libertyville, New Liberty, North Liberty and West Liberty).
* Eleven places have "independence" in their name.
* The most populous of these is Independence, Missouri, with 113,288 residents.
* Five places adopted the name "freedom."
* Freedom, California, with 6,000 residents, has the largest population among these.
* There is one place named "patriot" — Patriot, Indiana, with a population of 202.

And as we celebrate of our nation's independence with friends and family, let us remember all those who have served and are serving to protect our freedom, our rights and safeguard this great country. A BIG thank you to those men and women!

Enjoy a safe holiday and we'll be back with a full report!

Mrs. News Readin'

Sound bite of the Week

2009-06-29T14:14:00.002-04:00

When covering local news, especially a story that involves a crime, natural disaster or "The Man" sticking it to the little guy - a news reader always looks for the person who is jockeying to provide commentary or an eyewitness account.

More often than not, these folks are dying to be on TEEvee, no matter what the scenario and believe they were born ready for their close-up.

They usually resemble a "before" in a "before and after" montage for a cosmetic dentistry practice or is the type of person that gets ambushed for a makeover show at an amusement park, while eating a deep-fried turkey leg.

Many times they are without a shirt or the proper underpinnings to support their bosom. Often accompanied by a family member or members, that stand behind them during the interview making faces or shouting, "Hey Granny!"

If you have no idea who this person is - you are this person. So keep on keepin' on, because you make for some stellar local tv moments.

And now to our sound bite of the week.

The News Readin' Husband was covering an inordinate amount of rescues a local fire department had to perform on a swollen river. The recent rains in this neck of the woods has caused an otherwise lazy river to become rapid. A favorite spot for tubing, many have found themselves tossed over and requiring the assistance of the authorities.

This scenario baffled me.

Me: "Why are the companies that rent these tubes not cautioning people or not renting them at all?"
Mr. NR: "It's not their job to play lifeguard and they don't own the river."
Me: "Well, why isn't there some flag system - like on the beach in Mexico. I mean hell...if they can deter spring breakers with a black flag..."
Mr. NR: "There isn't one entry point and it's an ineffective system for this type of body of water."
Me: "Certainly the city or the county should be able to do something...a law, an ordinance...something"
Mr. NR: sliding into his South Georgia accent -"Honey, you can't legislate stupid."

All of a sudden I had a vision of him in his suit without a shirt, chomping down on a deep-fried turkey leg.

Someone has been spending too much time amongst the people.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Love: Nineteenth Century Style

2009-06-26T12:05:00.001-04:00

Happiest of Fridays, gang!

Stumbled across the Advertising for Love blog recently and it made my inner historian giddy. Written by a PhD in history candidate (so, she's like wicked smaht...) the blog chronicles nineteenth century personal ads.

Sounds boring? Me thinketh not.

Imagine the romance of opening the morning dispatch to see a message from the man who caught your eye as you were gliding about town or a secret message from the one night stand whom you feared would never contact you again...

Her post today is especially amusing, so do stop by and have a read.

Nineteenth Century love and lust is some good stuff!

Enjoy,

Mrs. News Readin'

Be back in a bit with a full report from my adventure in the Crescent City - Leontine Linens, Hazelnut New Orleans and food - glorious - food!

The Perils of Posting

2009-06-23T10:00:00.001-04:00

The interwebs can be a wonderful place where you can find out Bradley Cooper's major at Georgetown, where the best Thai food in Boston can be devoured and keep in touch with your not so nearest and somewhat dearest with Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc.

My how small the world has become in just a few years!

We keep things relatively anonymous in the Breaking Newsroom. Mainly because I can't afford to pay Mr. News Readin's agent 4% for using his mug for mass consumption. True story. That guy is a piranha - but gets the job done.

Many of you do share images of you, your family and friends. Well - you may just find yourself emblazoned on outdoor boards in a foreign country if that Kodak moment is commercial print quality.

Check out this Mommy blogger's story.

Needless to say after that tale - the Breaking News Team will remain faceless. And if you can't take the suspense...I've got six spots left on Facebook before I shut 'er down. I'm serious. (Email me: mrs dot newsreadin at gmail dot com)

Not sure how I would feel if that happened to me and my family? What about you?
Inquiring minds would like to know...

Stay tuned. More at 11.

It's Seersucker Thursday Y'all

2009-06-18T10:00:00.002-04:00

And you thought it was just another Thursday...pish!

Anyone who has spent a summer moment in D.C. knows how the heat can be downright oppressive. Prior to the God-send of air conditioning, senators hailing from the South shed their wool black frock coats for lighter linen and cotton attire. Northern colleagues took note.

In 1909, New Orleans clothier Joseph Haspel made summer wear more comfortable by designing a light-weight suit in pale blue and white striped rumpled cotton fabric.

He named that fabric "seersucker," a cotton that was based on a silk derivation from India popular during the British colonial period. In Persian it is called "Shir Shakkar," which loosely translates into "milk and sugar." The milk described the smooth parts of the material, while the sugar was a metaphor for the texture commonly referred to as "dimples" or "puckers."

Seersucker suits became widely popular because of their wash and wearability, made very necessary in the humid summer.

In the late 1990s, Mississippi Senator Trent Lott revived the long-forgotten Senate tradition. Selecting a day in June to be designated Seersucker Thursday, Senator Lott along with several other Southern Senators donned their seersucker. Three cheers for Trent!

Trent third from left. Lovin' that pink tie!

Today, senators happily make this annual fashion statement in the spirit of harmony. Imagine that? It is also a gentle reminder to their colleagues of what Senates from days past considered proper (read: required) summer attire. Ahem.

All in favor...?

Yours relishing this fashion/political history moment,

Mrs. News Readin'

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Some things I will never understand.

2009-06-17T22:28:00.001-04:00

I will never understand why Robin Givens married Mike Tyson. Or why Brad Pitt dated her for a minute, either.

I will also never understand why hamburger and hot dog buns are sold in different quantities than the actual meat products. Conspiracy on the part of commercial bakers? Probably.

I will also never understand why Hollywood starlets (or those that purport themselves to be) - who take extreme measures to maintain youth, beauty and above all - a body to rival that of a (somewhat) lazy anorexic - wear clothing that any normal human being would consider fug.

Yet you, young starlet, are duped to believe it is "fashion forward."

Come, now. Really?

Case in point:

Have you ever played that miserable game at a wedding shower when a team has to make the best wedding dress out of a roll of toilet paper? Looks like sweet Kirsten drew the short straw and Laura and Kate Mulleavy found some sparkly gray tp for this dress from their Rodarte line.

And what can I say about the peep-toe shoe booty business with buckles? I can say U-G-L-Y.

Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten...honey. Bright side - the Ferragamo clutch - is perfection.

In closing: call Rachel Zoe. Yeah - she'll make you feel fat - but better looking than this.
You might even achieve bananas.

Big hug,

Mrs. NewsReadin'

Spreading the Love.

2009-06-15T10:30:00.000-04:00

This little blog began after move number three in five years. I had hit rock bottom - being without any family or friends in a brand new town - yet again. Hence, the Wanted Good Home...a little place with familiar faces, laughter and a life.

I had no idea that I would find that sense of community amidst the blogosphere. So many incredible people sharing their lives, their finds, their anecdotes and most surprising - their appreciation and enjoyment for what you are putting out in the world. It's amazing how quickly a stranger can turn into a friend - without you ever having met...

So, with that I need to acknowledge two very lovely and favorite bloggers of mine who thought enough of what happens in this neck of the blogging woods to bestow these two awards...

Many, many thanks to THE Preppy Princess for the Queen of ALLL Things Awe-Summm Award!! The Breaking News Team will try desperately to live up to this tremendous honor. We think The Preppy Princess is quite Awe-Summm, as well.

As the newly crowned Queen, I am obligated to do the following:

1. List 7 things that make me Awe-Summm!!!

2. Pass this onto 7 bloggers.

3. Let those bloggers know that they have been tagged.

4. Link to Her Majesty who tagged me.

5. Copy the picture onto my sidebar to let the world know I am the Queen! (Not sure if I can manage this...)

Seven things that make me Awe-Summm!!! *

Let's just say these are seven things about myself I'm not embarrassed to share.

1. My Grandmother is 87, still wears heels, drives and goes to the office three days a week.
Having her genes alone makes me awesome.

2. A husband who makes me laugh

3. A best friend that has never judged me

4. Great hair

5. My sarcasm which, along with my great hair, has gotten me through life

6. Being able to recite almost every line from Heathers, Steel Magnolias and 9 to 5 - as if they were the Lord's Prayer.

7. Knowing that life is long distance race - not a sprint

We are also directed to tag 7 people:
(in no particular order)

1. Buford Betty

2. USCEmily
3. Leslie Ruth my favorite Southern Drama Queen
4. Make Mine a Mimosa
5. BLC :0 over at The Company She Keeps
6. Monograms & Mayhem

Second, a very big, "Why, thank you!" to Sara over at This Beautiful Thing. She is such a sweetheart to think that the Breaking News Team exhibits an attitude of gratitude. I know - she's way too generous.

So, how have I come to have an attitude of gratitude?

Not sure if I can claim a consistent attitude of gratitude, but I will say that I have learned to always to appreciate people and places for who and what they are and not enforce my "Well, in New York..." standard. Let me illustrate - Western Nebraska. Not exactly Paris. But while living there, I day tripped it to the Black Hills of South Dakota, left my door unlocked and ate the best steak of my life for $10 in a dingy bar with paper napkins. All great life experiences for which I am grateful.

The Rules of Accepting and Sharing this Award

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show an attitude of gratitude.
3. Link to your nominees within your post.
4. Comment on their blogs to let them know they've received this award.
5. Share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for the award. Tell us how you've come to have an attitude of gratitude.

We are tagging the following bloggers for their attitude of gratitude:

1. Granny Smith Green (Granny, I know you just received this from another blogger - but I had to give you a shout out!)
2. One Fabulous Mom
3. Le Petite Blog
4. Kikibee
5. Abnormally Normal
6. Clemson Girl
7. The Pink Clutch
8. Mes Petit Choux
9. Sippycups
10. Happy Homemaker

I know getting tagged can be sort of a pain, so don't feel obligated to post. Please know that I am just grateful to know all of you fabulous women!

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

Say Cheese.

2009-06-04T18:00:00.002-04:00

Mr. News Readin' loves cheese. I mean really loves cheese. One of the highlights of his life was spending time in the cheese cave at Artisanal in NY. True story.

His taste ranges from the stuff that comes wrapped in impossibly difficult to open plastic sleeves to a tangy, mature Manchego.

Since it is National Cheese Day (What! You forgot to send the mass e-greeting?) - we are celebrating with a dinner of Natalie's Tuscan Chevre Salad - with cheese deliciously made in Elkmont, Alabama.

Fromagerie Belle Chevre has received a lot of attention over the past few years - especially under the ownership of the lovely Tasia Malakasis. (You may have caught her story in G&G...)

Image courtesy of Garden & Gun

Is she not just the prettiest (goat) milk maid? So wholesome...

If you are looking for some Belle Chevre of your own click here for retailers.

Yours in cheese-y goodness,

Mrs. NR

I'm putting out an APB...

2009-06-04T12:27:00.002-04:00

Where in the world is Papercourt Ponderings?

One minute I was reading about her new kitchen back splash and the next thing I know - she's vanished!

If you have had a sighting, comment or any details regarding this disappearance, you are asked to comment on this post or email me: mrs dot newsreadin at gmail dot com. (Take that Ugandan hackers!)

xoxo,

Mrs. NR

Off the Cuff

2009-06-04T12:24:00.000-04:00

It's been a little hectic around the News Readin' Household lately.

From the Wedding Belle's glorious engagement party on the coast, a very relaxing weekend in Cashiers, the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance and work - work and yes, more work - it has even been a struggle to assist the News Readin' Husband with the daily selection o' the tie - let alone think of suitable, witty content for consumption. (There is always plenty that is not suitable...)

Sorry, gang. Just trying to keep it real.

Speaking of helping our favorite news reader maintain a snappy appearance...

Spotted these on Barneys.com.

Hobbs & Kent Inlay Cufflinks - on sale for $149.
FYI...they are also offering free shipping on all Barneys.com orders.

Could make for a very nice Father's Day or graduation gift.

Or in our case -
you're not a father and it took you five years to graduate (without a double major) gift.

Stay tuned.

Up next:
Getting around to return some blogging love
Special Report: Size Denial
and a Last Call for Wedding Belle Bridesmaid Accessory Suggestions

Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow.

2009-05-28T10:30:00.001-04:00

Last week during the Breaking News Team's (damn near) daily trip to Fresh Market, we were dealt an incredible blow.

The News Readin' Husband having just left the comfortable, herb-y smelling confines of the Aveda Salon, was perfectly coiffed but looking a little glum. Usually his post-snip self preens around and says things like, "My girl said that I should let it grow a little up top for texture."

Uh-huh...you read right, "his girl."

After milling about the prepared food section disinterested in even macaroni and cheese, he finally offered up:

"Nicole might be leaving."

Quickly I ran through mental images of reporters or producers at his station. But, then I remembered - he cares little for his co-workers. No, dear reader, this was much worse.

"Her husband just got his MBA and can't find a job - so, they might leave City K."

Gasp. His girl aka hair stylist could be vacating her station at the salon - leaving our favorite news reader without someone to tame his locks.

Having just cemented his relationship with Nicole with his 12th visit, I knew this would take some consoling. After all - it was just over six months ago that he had to experience the dread "cut and run" from his stalker/ex-hair stylist.

Me: "Maybe you could start seeing my girl." (I know...but it's language he can relate to...not a time to get technical with hair stylist or actually use her name.)

Mr. NR: *Big sigh* "I guess, but Nicole knows exactly how to cut my hair. I just don't feel like starting over."

The Inside Voice: I hear ya' buddy and so do millions of American women who are dating mediocre men - but sometimes we just need to move on...

Mr. NR: "And besides your girl isn't a Master Stylist. I saw the list."

Me: "Is that why your haircut costs just $10 less than mine?!"

Mr. NR: "You get what you pay for..."

Hmph.

I've said it once - and I'll say it again...sometimes it's tough being married to a man who would look better in my Old Navy lounge pants, knows what concealer is, garners more interest from inmates than I do, and now added to that list...uses the term Master Stylist and references some secret list shared with him by the girls at the salon check-in desk. Seriously.

Stay tuned for more on this late breaking story.

Talking Dirty...

2009-05-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

Laundry - that is...

(It's Monday morning. Did you really think I would be going there this early in the week? Clean it up, gang.)

Having two active men in the News Readin' household has left me with lots of dirty boy, gym laundry. Ick. Other than burning the multitudes of mesh shorts, there seems to be no detergent that gets them really clean.

Enter, Win Detergent.

The official detergent of the US Olympics Team? Say no more.

Have to say, I've been pretty impressed with the results.

Yours in Achieving Laundry Gold Medal Glory,

Mrs. News Readin'

Stay Tuned. More at 11.

Chef's Choice

2009-05-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking about this for a chef friend's kitchen shower...

Index Chopping Boards - Damian Evans, 2007

The chopping boards are designed to avoid cross-contamination of food types: red/raw meat, white/cooked foods, blue/fish, green/vegetables. Stored in a sleek filing unit.

It's too cool for my counter top, but will work for hers...

Sous chef to chop and dice - not included. Bummer.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

DIY Segment: It's 11:00 pm - do you know where your husband is...?

2009-05-13T23:45:00.000-04:00

I'll tell you where mine wasn't tonight...home. Fixing stuff.

At 11:00 pm on a Wednesday, my husband was on a play date over at his friend, Clint the Bachelor's house. Clint recently bought a ping pong table and set it up in what should be his formal dining room. Good for him. Of course - Mr. News Readin' is totally envious of this quote "killer" set-up. So, he's spent the evening over there soaking up as much as beer drinking and ping pong he can manage on a school night.

Normally, I could care less about him drinking beer with his buddies. Not today.

Today I arrived home to find the top of our toilet tank in the middle of the bathroom floor, surrounded by our good towels. I'm no plumber - but this did not look like a good thing.

He told me that this morning he had been fiddling with something and a geyser of toilet water starting spraying everywhere. According to my brother - it's a quick fix with a $20 kit from Lowe's. Great!

So explain to me, oh love of my life, why your little self was pretending to be the Jan-Ove Waldner (Swedish Ping Pong Champion) of City K instead of fixing our toilet?

His response:
"I'm just going to call our guy tomorrow."

Let's get one thing straight dear - he is your guy. You helped pay for his pontoon boat. Your guy.
This go round - if he starts talking about the house he's building in Aspen, I will freak out. On the both of you. Consider yourself warned.

Yours with fingers crossed but absolutely no faith in having a working toilet by the weekend,
Mrs. News Readin'

Stay tuned. More at 11.

A Mother's Day What Not to Gift Guide

2009-05-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

Mr. News Readin's lovely mother has a birthday that seems to squarely land on Mother's Day bi-annually. This year she is turning 60.

Guess who didn't figure this out until Tuesday night, while on the phone with his baby sister, our Wedding Belle? Their gift of choice: fruit of the month from Harry & David.

Seriously, gang? You still throw your dirty laundry down her laundry chute while home for the holidays...and she washes and folds it within minutes.

Fruit of the month?! Come on. That's what I sent our pet-sitter, Peggy, last year for Christmas.

So, our dynamic brother/sister duo went looking in a different direction.

The text read:
"I think we are going to get mom a schnoodle. What do you think?"

First I thought - you're getting your mother a German pastry? After a brief tour on the interwebs, I found out that schnoodles are poodle/schnauzer mixes. And super cute. See below.

I quickly responded to the text:
"That's a sh*t idea. She just barely unloaded you two."

Last night I overheard him ordering the monthly Tower o' Fruit.

Me: "You went with the fruit."
Mr. NR: "Well, I'm going to tell her we were going to get her a dog."

Nice strategy. Let her know it could have been much worse.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Magic Words: Discount Designer Duds

2009-05-07T10:00:00.001-04:00

Say it with me. Discount Designer.

Oh, do you see the skyrockets...similar to when Bobby Brady was kissed by Millicent on the Brady Bunch...

That's how I feel about Outnet.com.

Hefty price tags abound. Make no mistake. But there are some really good deals in the mix.

Anna Sui Beaded Chevron Dress - Retail: $375 Outnet: $178.50

Kenneth Jay Lane Swarovski Crystal Cuff - Retail: $150 Outnet: $60

Tibi Velodromo Shift Dress - Retail: $355 Outnet: $177.50

Registered members can also opt-in for their 24 hour pop-up sales. The next one is a Bottega Veneta shoulder bag starting on May 29 at 11:00 am EDT.

Don't get me wrong - there is plenty of room in life's shopping cart for Tarjay and Forever21. These days, we (yes, LBM the dread pronoun) find ourselves thinking twice before swiping the card - no matter what the purchase.

So instead of buying the cheapy stuff that will be ditched after one season, shouldn't we invest in quality clothing, accessories and shoes. Sadly - I think my closet is worth more than my 401K these days. With me?

At least that's what I claim to Mr. News Readin' when boxes and bags appear and marriage math - rounding total of all purchases down - is quickly applied.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Edited to add: My bestie informed me that this came off a bit errr...out of touch. Lord knows there is plenty of Old Navy in this closet. And I am not afraid of a consignment shop. Bottom line - I'd rather have two really wonderful cashmere sweaters that I wear to shreds - than 10 that won't last me three seasons. Discount websites help the cause.

Assigned Reading

2009-05-06T16:15:00.000-04:00

Do you have a book that you could read a thousand times over?

Most avid readers have one or two that every few years they will dust off and read through once more to recall why it meant so much in the first place.

For me they are Persuasion by Jane Austen, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and D.V. by Diana Vreeland. As you can see my literally tastes run slightly shallow and vanilla - most were forced to read Persuasion and Gatsby in high school or college. Sorry.

Truth be told - if I could find my copy of Danielle Steel's Wanderlust, I would add that to this already impressive list.

But, if you haven't read D.V. - I highly recommend the sparkling autobiography. It's chocked-full of witty stories from the former fashion editor of Harper's Bazaar and editor-in-chief of Vogue. If only life were just that fabulous. Sigh.

So - what about you? What old friend do you turn the pages of time and again?
I'm always looking for new reads - especially during a slow news day...

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Late Breaking Story

2009-05-05T15:27:00.006-04:00

Today I was feeling sweeter than normal and decided to give the News Readin' Husband a call during lunch to see what he was working on for our evening enjoyment.

Our conversation went a little something like this...

Me: Hey, what's the story of the day?

Mr. NR: Oh, just sitting at some health department press conference talking about swine flu. Did you know that pigs pass the flu virus - just like humans? Interesting.

Me: Did you ask if you can catch anything else from the little buggers? Or any other livestock for that matter? I mean, seriously. We need to know.

Mr. NR: (snidely) No, I did not ask if we can catch things from other livestock. I also didn't ask how fast a cheetah really runs. It was a press conference about swine flu.

Me: Whatever. Hmph.

And, scene.

Well, that's the last time I try to help him create the next media frenzy.

Off to figure out why we can't just call it pig flu,

Mrs. News Readin'

The Other May 5th Celebration

2009-05-05T10:15:00.000-04:00

While you may be off swilling tequila to kill any traces of the swine flu and eating enough Mexican food to claim you actually have it - all in honor of Mexican Independence, of course...

The Breaking News Team is celebrating the other May 5th holiday.

It is our favorite news reader (aside from the husband) - Brian Williams' birthday. B-Dub, as he is affectionately called around the Breaking Newsroom, turns a crowd-pleasing 50 years old today.

I don't know if it's the new self-tanner or the never-repeated Carlo Franco seven fold ties, but our fair Brian is looking particularly handsome as of late.

We do love a news reader that doesn't take himself too seriously and is as comfortable on a late night talk show as he is scanning the ole' teleprompter Monday through Friday. And we would be remiss to not compliment his wit and comedic timing. (Did you catch his 30 Rock moment? In a word - brilliant.)

See?! He even gets along with those that mock him professionally. What a guy.

In honor of this auspicious occasion we will dining on a meal complete with all of B-Dub's favorite epicurean delights accessible in City K - from Cracker Barrel and Cinnabon. Sadly Le Cirque has yet to franchise in this neck of the woods, as hell has not frozen over.

So, cheers to Brian! One day older...~~and closer to vacating that highly coveted anchor chair.~~

Planning Genius

2009-05-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to another episode of Why the hell didn't I think of that?

It is time to eighty-six the sign-up sheet. Whether you are planning a volunteer effort, class helper schedule or in my case - a bachelorette party - it can all be accomplished on this one site:

SignUp Genius

Are you using this site? It's really genius! What I have found so helpful is you can provide a variety of dates for participants and they can check the dates and times that work for them - so that (you) festivity organizer can determine the best date.

No more multiple rounds of reply-all emails because, "that weekend doesn't work for me..."

It's like Evite's super organized, more detailed cousin. And who doesn't like that?

All of a sudden helping out is a little less daunting...

Happy planning,

Mrs. News Readin'

Stay tuned. Up next - America's Epidemic: Size Denial.

Wedding Belle Update

2009-04-30T10:00:00.002-04:00

As some of you may know - Mr. News Readin's sweet sister is tying the knot in October.

She has graciously asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. At first I was just simply honored - but now...now I am over the moon! Check out her bridesmaid dress pick:

Silk Taffeta Lorelei dress from J. Crew in Caspian Blue

It looks navy in the image, but it's really more of a cadet blue. And hellooo...it has pockets!

Every bridesmaid is relieved when the dress choice ends up being something they are not ashamed to wear in public or will be mistaken for a pageant gown or Halloween costume.

An illustration:

Married in a Whorehouse

She would NEVER pick this...but I've seen some doozies lately that have been chosen by perfectly normal girls. For example - a lavender Grecian drape halter dress. Trust me. It is way worse than it sounds. And it sounds pretty bad in my opinion. (My poor friend Jennifer was subjected to such an atrocity.)

Back to our Belle.

Guess who has been charged with shoe and accessory recommendations? OMG. I'm so excited - I can't even take it.

So, let's hear it from those of you who frequent the Breaking News Room. I know you are chocked-full of chic suggestions. I've got a few of my own already...to be posted at a later date.

I'm not kidding. You are officially being solicited for shoe and accessory finds. There may be some swag for my favorites...

Yours in Bridesmaid Bliss,
Mrs. News Readin'

Edited to add:
Contributing reporter Stereos and Souffles raised some good questions. Good woman!
The wedding ceremony is at 6:00 pm. The groomsmen are not wearing tuxes. Not sure if they have decided on khaki suits or tan trousers and navy sport coats. Flowers will be white.

Stay tuned for more Mrs. News Readin' takes over - ummm - I mean helps plan a wedding.

Cookie Monster

2009-04-28T11:25:00.001-04:00

Or should I say Monster Cookie?

The News Readin' Husband loves Oreos, but I'm confident this could equal death by double stuffed:

Yum or yuck? Not sure. But very willing to give it a try...

W-S is marketing this for your Mother's Day celebration. Ummm...is that really the best strategy to move these bad boys?

Imagine the scene: mom would end up cleaning the pan and consoling crying children when the big Oreo didn't visually live up to expectations.

There's got to be a better way to thank her for sacrificing hair appointments, her tennis game and life in general - to raise us. Like designer dish washing liquid or scented ironing water...
Just kidding, Mom.

Williams-Sonoma Goldtouch™ Sandwich-Cookie Cake Pan

No matter. I'm a big fan of novelty baking pans that take up precious storage space and are put to use once a year. Something about making a massive cupcake, just warms my heart and makes my body dance along the border of diabetic shock. Mmmm.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Springtime Surprises Courtesy of L.L. Bean

2009-04-25T12:00:00.003-04:00

Never once - ever - have I put cute clothes and L.L. Bean in the same sentence. Don't judge me. You know it's true.

Backpacks - check. Flannel tartan pajamas - check. Outdoor gear - the mecca. Boat totes - accept nothing but the original. Fun summer wear? Keep on looking...

Not so fast. Apparently someone in Freeport took a stand and declared,
"We must free ourselves from the frump!"

While breezing through their latest clothing for women catalog, I was pleasantly surprised by the perfectly preppy gear they are touting - rightfully so. All a little Boden-esque, minus the crazy graphics. I think you will be equally pleased:

Note: All images courtesy of L.L. Bean

Skyway Canvas Button-front Skirt in Sunburst

Haven Skimmers - also in an adorable pink and green print

Lattice Print Handbag - cute, cute with the skimmers and skirt above.

Petal Poplin Shirt, Polka Dot - love the surprise of pink stripe on the cuffs!

Madras Skort - usually skorts are my krytonite, but it's a commendable effort L.L. Bean

Coastal Macintosh Coat in Glen Green lined in pink and green lobster/crab print

Seersucker belt - perfect with jeans

Seersucker Jacket - slim fit, with three-quarter sleeves

If you are in any way impressed with the above, I highly recommend hightailing it over to their website - where plenty more await.

Enjoy this beautiful weekend!

Yours in renewed faith of a classic (with exemplary customer service),

Mrs. News Readin'

Law and Order: Special News Reader Unit

2009-04-23T07:30:00.001-04:00

Driving is not in my wheelhouse. Quoting the movie Heathers, being seated next to the most emotionally unstable person on any plane and making crêpes - on the other hand - are all me.

An illustration: it took three tries to pass my road test. From 1999-2003, I can count on two hands how many times I operated a motor vehicle. These stats did not exactly inspire confidence in the News Readin' Husband upon marriage and the addition of moi to his car insurance policy.

Recently, he seemed slightly perturbed when I reported being inconvenienced one morning in early February, while driving through a school zone by an officer of the law. By inconvenienced, I mean stopped for doing 50 mph in a 25 mph zone. Oops. You would think he would be numb to such moments after five + years of marriage.

To add to my not so bright and shiny morning, I couldn't locate my most current insurance card. If only he had stopped me prior to October 2008...Dammit.

Guess who missed her court date and has yet to pay her ticket? I know - my brilliance and incredible sense of responsibility are overwhelming. Mr. NR is not pleased. At all.

Yesterday I contacted the City K traffic court to discuss my errr...dilemma and had the pleasure of reaching Terry, who is four months away from retirement, a stickler for the law and lucky for me - a fan of a certain New Readin' Husband. Yahtzee.

Or so I thought.

Me: I'm calling in regards to ticket number 1234XYZ

Terry: Ohhh...let's see what we have here...speeding in a school zone and no proof of insurance. And you missed your court appearance! Tsk, tsk.

Me: Yes, well, sorry about all that. Could I just mail my payment to the court?

Terry: Miss News Readin' - is it? We'll be sending a patrol car for you shortly.

Me: (insert the sound of crickets and shallow breathing)

Terry: Just kiddin', honey...just kiddin'! Are you related to Mr. News Readin' on Channel 6?

Me: Yes, he is my husband. (blood returning to my face)

Terry: Is he really!? We watch him all the time...he does such a nice job covering the city.

Me: Thank you.

Terry: Just come on down and pay your ticket anytime between 8-5. And how bout you bring Mr. News Readin' along with you? We can put his picture up on our Wall of Fame.

Me: Sure! Will that knock my fine down?
(insert laughter - I mean, we're practically best friends by now)

Terry: (icily) No. You will still owe City K $293 for your serious traffic violation.

Me: Right. Of course.

Sheez. What happened to the Wall of Fame and all the honey talk?!

Another fine example of how local celeb (ha!) does not put you above the law. Although, I bet Terry will be singing a different song when Mr. News Readin' rolls in there on my arm, wearing a purple power tie and a bit of bronzer...

School zone will turn into seatbelt real fast.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Special Report: Setting the First Table

2009-04-21T07:30:00.002-04:00

Our president's dishes have led to debate, scandal, and even congressional intervention. In this Inaugural year - I thought it would be interesting to see what has graced the First Table throughout American history. (Promise this will one day serve you in a social setting...)

***

After the White House burned in the War of 1812, the Monroes (President James and First Lady Elizabeth) undertook its extensive renovation. Upon moving into the restored White House in 1817, the first official presidential china created for a President was ordered from Paris.

Image courtesy of the White House Historical Association.

The design features a Napoleonic eagle (very popular during the period) in the center carrying a banner which reads "E Pluribus Unum." The five vignettes surrounding represent strength, agriculture, commerce, arts and science. The Dagoty-Honoré manufactured 30-setting dinner service and dessert service cost less than $1,200.

The Monroes took some heat for all of the French furnishings in the renovated White House and later Congress passed a bill stating that all furnishings for the President's home needed to be "practicable domestic manufactured." Note: It would take nearly a century for America china manufacturing to be on par with France and England.

Although the Monroes had the first official service - that's not to say that all preceding Presidents entertained on tinware.

Two examples...

Image courtesy of the Woodmere, Presidential Collection.

Martha Washington's monogrammed service, a gift from the East India Company in 1796, features her initials at the center as well as the names of all 15 states in the union at that time. A Latin motto, "Decus et tutamen ab illo" - "a glory and the defense of it" appears under Mrs. Washington's initials on a ribbon motif. The design was inspired by Benjamin Franklin's design of colonial Pennsylvania currency.

Image courtesy of the Woomere, Presidential Collection.

Thomas Jefferson included his own monogram along with a fleur-de-lis design in blue and gold for his White House china. Jefferson, a man of impeccable taste, was heavily influenced by the time he spent as foreign minister to France.

Presidential China Highlights Post-1845:

Image courtesy of the Hoover Archives.

The Polk State Service was purchased for $979 in 1846. Parisian firm Edouard Honoré produced the 400 rococo-style dinner and dessert pieces, which are considered to be among the most beautiful of all presidential china. The pieces feature a green border, molded and gilded scrolls, assorted floral motifs and was the first to be designed with a shield of stars and stripes.

Image courtesy of Graydon Wood and Lynn Rosenthal.

Mary Todd Lincoln realized a state dinner would require more dishes than were in the set bought during President Pierce's administration. Much of the Pierece set had been used and broken. Mrs. Lincoln, chose a French design with an American eagle in the center and a border of a brilliant purple-red color called "solferino," a fashionable new shade at the time. However, many saw Mrs. Lincoln's purchase as frivolous and in poor taste considering the state of America and the looming threat of civil war.

Image courtesy of www.whitehouse.gov.

First Lady Edith Wilson chose a pattern designed by Lenox's chief designer, Frank Holmes, featuring two bands of matte gold encrusted with stars, stripes, and other motifs. The Seal of the president was raised in gold in the center. The china set and the administration were heralded for the first wholly American manufactured presidential service. It was used by three later administrations.

Image courtesy of www.whitehouse.gov.

In 1966, three years into the Johnson presidency, new china was ordered. The service, designed by Tiffany & Co, cost of $80,028.24 and was the first purchased with non-appropriated government funds. The White House Historical Association funded the china project.

The pieces featured the eagle from the Monroe china, and the borders were decorated with over forty different wildflowers found throughout the United States. The flowers were hand painted on each plate, delaying the delivery of the full service until 1972, four years into the Nixon administration.

(Both Images of Bush china courtesy of AP Photos/Ron Edmonds)

Laura Bush unveiled two new sets of china in early January of this year - just days before the official end of her husband's administration. One, a traditional Lenox gilt-edged with a green basket-weave border. The other, the Magnolia Residence China Service designed by Hungarian-born Anna Weatherley of Arlington, is the first in White House history: a less formal pattern to be used in the private quarters.

***

All of the pieces of White House china are kept in the China Room, located on the ground floor of the White House. The First Lady mainly uses the space for entertaining smaller groups for teas, luncheons and less formal affairs.

FYI gang, every piece of china is carefully counted following each state dinner - so don't even think about scoring a Wilson finger bowl on your way out the door. There are options if you are that desperate for a presidential piece.

Woodmere China of New Castle, PA, has a White House Collection which is a full line of Presidential China reproductions. Dinner taste doubly delicious when dining on President Millard Fillmore's pattern.

***

If you are interested in more information about Presidential China there is an excellent exhibition currently on view at the Concord Museum, Setting America's Table through October 21, 2009.

Also these books:

American Presidential China: The Robert L. McNeil, Jr., Collection at the Philadelphia Museum of Art by Susan Gray Detweiler.

The President's Table: Two Hundred Years of Dining and Diplomacy by Barry Landau.

There - don't you feel informed? Now head over to The Superficial and counteract all our good work...

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Some houseguests...

2009-04-19T22:20:00.004-04:00

...do not stink after three days.

We are into week four of my brother's 13 week stay in Casa de News Readin'. So far - so good.

He has fixed a broken latch on our exterior front door, re-wired some old two-prong outlets and re-caulked our guest shower. Oh, and incredibly he knows how to take out the garbage, wipe down the counters, start dinner (without step-by-step instructions delivered by cell) and replace the paper towels.

On Thursday I came home and he was vacuuming. Without being asked to do so. Seriously.

Maybe he shouldn't be the man in this house to move out in 10 weeks.
Just kidding. (Not really.)

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Illustating the Differences Between the Sexes: Part II

2009-04-14T18:00:00.000-04:00

Part II of our ongoing series...

The other night we were enjoying a bit of tv, when the Diet Coke commercial featuring Heidi Klum invaded our line of vision. It could be worse...I know this...at least she is promoting The Heart Truth / Red Dress Collection - raising awareness about women's heart health.

Mr. News Readin', experiencing a bit of an epiphany, stated:

"Men are sitting ducks. No one is out there promoting awareness for men's health issues. Women go to the doctor for every little thing. Men don't go to the doctor until their friends stop fronting them their ED meds..." (Interesting point.)

The rant continued:
"When is someone going to organize a walk, run or even a freakin' three legged race for men's medical issues?"

Hmmm...I sense something bigger going on here.

Me: "Well, what about all the work Katie Couric does for colorectal cancer awareness?"

Mr. NR: "That's not what I mean..."

Me: "Oh - you want to know why some other supermodel isn't promoting men's heart disease prevention in a tight red dress."

Mr. NR: "Exactly."

Even during a moment of true concern for the well being of his fellow men, it all comes down to a hot girl.

Way to rally for the cause, dear.

Stat tuned.
More at 11.

And on the third day...

2009-04-12T16:00:00.001-04:00

Christ and St Mary Magdalene at the Tomb, 1638, Rembrandt van Rijn.
Image courtesy of The Royal Collection.

Hope you enjoyed a beautiful day with family and friends!

Where are all the shoes going?

2009-04-09T07:02:00.007-04:00

Just in case Twitter, Facebook and blog reading don't take up enough of your time...there's this:

Zappos.com has a live map module showing where in the U.S. all their shoes are being ordered.

Sound silly? Try addictive. Log on here.

I lost 15 minutes of my day yesterday watching running shoes go to Reno and wedges go to Waterloo.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Tech Savvy Tailgating

2009-04-08T08:55:00.000-04:00

Brilliant! And can be monogrammed...

Ordered one of these last night for a soon-to-be-wed couple's Tailgating Essentials Shower:

Speaker Cooler from Pottery Barn

Hopefully it will be a little more useful beyond a handful of fall weekends in Athens - than red and black coolers, serveware, folding chairs or coozies emblazoned with a big G.

Mr. News Readin' was pleased with the gift decision. Mainly because,
"...waiting 155 days to use it would stink."

Just in case you don't have your 2009 football schedule handy - Georgia takes on South Carolina at home on September 12 or 155 days.

Bet he's keeping a similar count until our wedding anniversary...

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Bad Ass Bunny Gear

2009-04-07T16:16:00.006-04:00

Just like my Santa swills scotch, my Easter Bunny is a bad ass.
(But you already knew that...)

This just might be waiting for a certain News Readin' Husband and our star boarder, The Prince on Easter Sunday, courtesy of our B.A.E.B.:

Psycho Bunny Polo Shirt in Kelly Green

A better look at Psycho Bunnies in the Wild

I big puffy heart Psycho Bunny's design mastermind Robert Godley - and not just because he's a nice lad from across the pond. Although, the accent and his former employment at Turnbull and Asser, Jermyn Street, help tremendously. Check him out. Adorable - no?

Keep your fingers crossed that the B.A.E.B remembers little old me:

Large White with Rasberry Bunny Tote from Bunny and Chad
On sale, too!

Or should our Bad Ass Easter Bunny decide to drop off a certain Mr. Godley for a late lunch on Sunday accompanied by a massive basket of Cadbury Creme Eggs - that would be just fine, too.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

How to Spot a Heathen

2009-03-30T10:34:00.001-04:00

One of my New Year's resolutions was to "get right with God." Or just go to mass a few times a month instead of a few times a year. So far - so good. Until the recessional, when I have to shake hands with the priest. My least favorite part. I can see it in his eyes - he knows I'm the stranger among his sheep.

Being the New Kid at mass is sort of like being the new person in a group exercise class. All the regulars assume the same position week after week, and give you the hairy eyeball should you dare cross the boundary line of "their spot." So, you've got that going for ya' - along with attempting to atone for missing the last 50 out 52 masses in a year.

I have been a Catholic all my life - save for that brief moment around the age of 13 when I thought, "I could be Jewish - have a Batz Mitzvah and then three years later do it up again for a Sweet Sixteen?! Have party. Will convert!" My mother, ever the Debbie Downer, quickly pointed out that conversion is a lengthy process , so my Batz Mitvah and Sweet Sixteen would end up being a combined party. And I would have to learn Hebrew. (Yiddish slang learned by just being a New Yorker, did not count.) Oy vey. I barely made it through middle school French.

Catholic, I remained.

Being relatively new to this church and still test driving our compatibility...(Do they use real wine or grape juice? Is parking a nightmare? Are the homilies relevant or about natural family planning?)...I had not officially registered and was without personalized envelopes for the collection baskets.

Since embarking on this road to redemption, I've been stuffing the monetary donation in my pocket. It's been smooth sailing. Until...

This past Saturday I slipped my hand into the wrong pocket and tossed my dry cleaning slip into the collection basket. Not realizing until the basket was two people down - I debated retrieving it rather than cause a scene. Until I recalled that MY NAME was on the slip. Oh, for the love of everything holy!!

So I had to get up, wrestle the basket from some lady who insisted on giving it to the usher at the end of the pew, grab my ticket and drop in my money. Sheez. Leave it to a heathen to ruin the flow of traffic and disrupt the vigil.

Yes, I have since ordered the damn envelopes. And no, I didn't stay after communion.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Ding-Dong: It's Mom.

2009-03-29T10:30:00.001-04:00

My mother made an impromptu trip across the Mason-Dixon this weekend to see the News Readin's and deliver my brother for a 13-week visit. (Don't worry we'll get to that at a later date...)

For her, impromptu means 40 phone calls and a daily weather update. Not to mention - a Xanax refill for yours truly.

As I am not one to veil my impatience or general irritation with the behavior of another - she arrived bearing gifts to smooth over the harassment leading up to her descent...err...I mean - trials and tribulations of trip planning. Oh, and because she knows I desperately miss the retail bliss of New York.

As soon as I saw the Plaza Too bag, all was forgiven.

Mystique Turquoise Flip-Flop
I have two other pairs of Mystique jeweled/embellished flip-flops and l-o-v-e them. They take a casual summer outfit and instantly dress it up. Jewelry for your feet...and really comfortable.

KORS by Michael Kors Andres Moc in Green Patent
Cuter on than depicted. Worship the green color! Am dying to wear them with cropped white jeans and a navy bateau neck tee.

We waxed nostalgic over shoe purchases at Plaza Too in Bronxville, NY...for senior prom - sensible Stuart Weitzmans and my first big girl shoe purchase after landing a gig at Sotheby's- Miu Miu slingbacks...ahhh - memories.

Reminiscing didn't make her completely forget that she has no grandchildren, but it slipped her mind for a moment or two.

Yours in new shoe nirvana,

Mrs. News Readin'

Psst...take advantage of their Style Stimulus through April 15.

DIY: Ladyscaping

2009-03-28T10:30:00.000-04:00

Attention to any boys who read this blog: this may be a post to skip, as my never ending obsession with ladyscaping is the topic.

Ok? So, run along now - basketball to be watched, wings to devoured, beers to be consumed - and if you can find the time to fit in some mulch spreading or mowing...by all means - contribute to the maintaining of the abode in which you inhabit. (Someone has a touch of holdover resentment from last weekend's lacking outdoor productivity by a certain husband who reads the news.) But, I digress...

As the bearing more than less season approaches, it's timely to launch a new product for the purpose of maintaining - specifically - Your Flower Bed. The genius minds (or their ad agency) at Schick have bestowed upon us ladies this little piece of equipment just in time:

The Schick Quattro for Women Trimstyle Razor & Bikini Trimmer

The apparatus itself doesn't offend me nearly me as much as the ad campaign that is bombarding the female consumer.

Print ads appearing in major magazines feature a lush garden with statuary amidst strategically placed topiaries in the shapes of inverted triangles and landing strips. The television commercial is even more laughable. Women strolling, jogging, meeting up with other women passing by overgrown greenery that transform magically into stripper enviable ladyscapes. Don't believe me? Check out the ridiculousness here:

Seriously, Ad Guy? Really? You sat around your agency war room throwing out ideas to market these bad boys and you came up with shaped shrubs? Are you also the geniuses that developed the Levitra commercial with the man throwing the football through the tire swing or the spurting kitchen faucet? Subtle, reeally subtle.

If you think for a second a man didn't come up with campaign, well - you're kidding yourself. Working in the advertising world has taught me that 9 out of 10 creatives are men and I watch Mad Men. My official backup data. So there.

I'm not some femi-nazi who believes a man created this tool to perpetuate the pressures of society to maintain a tidy Flower Bed. On the contrary, I am a woman who firmly believes in keeping things beach-in-Rio ready (should the occasion arise) for myself. And I appreciate the help.

Just in case my new waxer extraordinaire, Heather, is reading - it will never replace you. Our bond is much stronger. You have gone places no one has ever gone (with the lights on) other than my Lady Bits Doctor, and never once have you asked me to scoot down. Love ya', Girl!

Will I fall victim to the wily ways of Schick's advertising brilliance? Perhaps. Compared to the scouring pad/sanding system these jokers are touting - it certainly seems like the better home maintenance option.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Good Manners in Bad Times

2009-03-22T11:20:00.005-04:00

Weren't we raised to avoid any and all talk of money in social settings? I thought so - but I can't tell you how many times in the past five years I've listened to successful, young people discuss bonuses, salary, cost of homes, cars and vacations. OMG. It makes me uncomfortable to even type it...imagine my discomfort while being regaled of the monetary details.

Don't get me wrong. I'll be the first person to tell you that I scored a Pucci satin clutch at TJ Maxx for $70.00. Don't hunters tell you if their buck had eight or ten points? Same thing, really. Telling me about your $150K bonus - um, well... - different.

The boom which preceded our current financial standings made inappropriate conversation topics acceptable and part of the norm. In the April 2009 issue of Town & Country, Michael Korda has penned a much needed piece on graceful behavior during this period of economic uncertainty.

Back to Mr. Korda's fine piece...he outlined twelve simple rules to remain dignified amidst this mess:

Don't flaunt any wise financial decisions made of late.
There's no crying in investing and especially in public. Save it. We're all in this mess...
Leave the jokes about money to professionals.
Save the "Sun will come out tomorrow" routine. We're in this for a while.
Refrain from asking how work is until you know that person is still employed. Many are not.
Avoid topics such as 401(K)s, IRAs and bonuses. Seriously.
Use caution when telling stories about sensible people being affected by panic. You never know who has stuffed their savings in the coffee grounds can...
Before having a family pow wow about belt tightening make sure you and your spouse are on the same page and sacrificing laterally.
Do not tell scary stories about what had happened to other people. Those stories are always more fiction than fact.
Bear in mind that in economic ups and downs - people rarely tell the truth about money.
Distinguish between what you had on paper and what you really owned.
And last but not least - if you are buying Chanel from the Worth Avenue boutique - have it shipped. Black tie dinner? Go light on the good jewelry. One can achieve chic without being showy.

Mr. Korda recommends reading F. Scott Fitzgerald's, The Great Gatsby as it deals with the consequences of indulging to the point of excess. A good book any time - it is particularly poignant and relevant 80+ years after its original purpose as a social commentary during the Hoover administration.

So, let's take a lesson from Marie-Antoinette...who would have been far better off suggesting Wheat Thins to the starving French masses than cake. If she had possessed the good sense of Mr. Korda, she may have even been able to keep her wig-laden head.

Stay tuned. More at 11.

Awaiting April Showers

2009-03-19T07:03:00.004-04:00

I'm not one of those people that can't get out of a car or leave a building during a drizzle without an umbrella. It may come as a surprise to some - but I will not melt. Thankyouverymuch.

Frankly, I think they are more of a pain to manage while teetering on my 3.5 inch heels and schlepping some massive purse, laptop, bottled water and cell attached to ear.

Gang....Times - they are a changin'.

Maybe my obstinacy to umbrella usage stems from the fact that most are just ugly. Leave it to the retail geniuses at Tar-jay to make me believe that good design and practicality can exist for under $20.

Hayden-Harnett for Target Umbrella

It's on sale for $16.09...slightly more than you should be paying for an umbrella with a plastic handle - but oh, how chic.

Unfortunately, it does not match my wellies.

Yours in preparedness for April showers,

Mrs. News Readin'

Gift Card Rescue

2009-03-15T19:00:00.000-04:00

The holidays have left me with gift cards to Bath & Body Works that I will never use.

It's not that I don't appreciate the thoughtful gesture but I have a severe aversion to B&BW. It stems from a suite mate in college that worked there and doused herself in Juniper Breeze and Plumeria. The thought of those scents makes me gag a little. I go as far as to walk at least 50 feet from any entrance to a B&BW. Sorry if you're a fan.

I could pawn those gift cards off on someone else, re-gifting, if you will. But, it makes me feel sort of guilty - especially the next time I see my aunt err...the gift giver. Enter GiftCardRescue, an online service that allows users to exchange their unwanted cards either for different gift cards or for cash. News to me!

GiftCardRescue will then provide the redemption value it's willing to pay - usually between 60 percent and 80 percent of the card's value. You can then elect either to receive cash via PayPal, or select a new gift card from the site, up to the redemption value of their original card.

Happiness is not having to buy from Bath & Body Works - and $$$ in my PayPal account to buy Jo Malone off Ebay. Just what I wanted...

Stay tuned.
More at 11.

Pearl: How we became cat people

2009-03-14T19:15:00.000-04:00

*Note: This is a little sad, a little weird and really long. Sorry.

Ash Wednesday night, I let our Sneaky Kitty outside for her usual early evening jaunt. When she didn't come back before we headed to bed, I was surprised - but not too concerned. She is a cat after all and completely independent.

Pearl aka Sneaky Kitty on her screened-in porch throne

The next morning Pearl still wasn't back...not good. So, the News Readin' husband searched the neighborhood. We blanketed the streets with fliers of sneaky kitty - even offering a reward. After all that, two trips to the shelter and a few phone calls from kind strangers telling us that had seen a cat, but not our cat - I was pretty confident that Pearl was gone and we would never really know what happened to her.

Before I go on with this let me say that I learned few things from the course of these events:
- The kindness of strangers never ceases to amaze me
- The bizarre-ness of strangers never ceases to amaze me
- The News Readin' Husband loves me
- The News Readin' Husband must have reeaallyyy loved that cat

On Sunday afternoon, a woman called to say that she had been walking near our home one evening earlier in the week and had seen a cat matching Pearl's description on the side of the road. Not too many people would actually call to say, "Oh by the way I saw your missing cat - dead on the side of the road." I appreciated her call.

Mr. News Readin' went to go check out the location, even though he had already carried out that morose exercise a few days earlier and had not seen Pearl. The woman even met him out there to show him the exact spot...but no sign of Pearl.

While at work on Monday, Mr. News Readin' received a phone call from a woman saying that her 21 year old daughter lives off of the nearby main road and saw a dead cat at the edge of her property a few days ago. (The same vicinity the woman on her walk had provided.) She had called her father (the caller's husband) to come and deal with the remains. So, the father buried the cat. Mystery solved.

This is where the story starts getting ridiculous and a little weird...
The woman went on to say- a couple had come by looking for their cat and they unearthed the body to id the cat - but it was not that couple's cat. Were we the same couple?

Uhhhh...no. But, our hard hitting reporter was not about to let this be an open case file. So, he arranged a time to meet the father and the daughter with a picture of Pearl to see if they could finally provide closure to our missing sneaky kitty.

When he arrived he found that they had once again unearthed the cat. For the second time. Seriously?!

After confirming it was indeed, Pearl - he expected they would simply return her to the ground and he would head home to let me down easy and fix a scotch. Guess again. According to him - the father said, "You are taking her with you, right?"

Mind you - Mr. News Readin' in a wool flannel chalk stripe Samuelsohn suit - was not exactly prepared to see our cat - let alone re-bury her. Sheez. But, he manned up, put her in the Tahoe and drove home to get a flashlight and a shovel.

He felt strongly that he shouldn't bury the cat in the yard, for fear the dog would sniff her out or worse - bring her into the house. Good call. There is not enough liquor in this county for me to deal with that scene.

Clad in his Italian wool suit, in the rain with a flashlight in his mouth - Mr. News Readin' found a nice spot to lay Pearl to rest. Could you imagine if someone saw him? I'm sure that didn't look suspicious at all. Regardless, he is a good, good man for carrying all this out to provide me with closure.

We got a cat following a mouse issue and ended up with another four-legged family member. A cat who killed plenty of birds, mice and snakes in her one year and three months on this earth to feel proud yet, was the most affectionate cat I have ever known.

Sneaky Kitty takes on the fierce Hot Pink Boa

Pearl, the kitten

We miss Pearl, but know she is in a better place - using someone else's Lee Jofa club chair as a scratch post and drinking all the 2% milk she can manage.

I'm happy to say she made us cat people.

Stay tuned. More uplifting news at 11.

New Favorite Catalog Contender

2009-03-12T07:00:00.001-04:00

My love of catalogs will someday lead me to a church basement - sitting in a circle, sipping black coffee, talking about "addictive behavior cues." Until that day, I will continue to hurry to my mailbox daily to see what our mailperson has left. On a good day - Wisteria, Anthro or Sotheby's Jewlelry. Bad day - Duluth Trading. On a great day - a brand new catalog which I have never perused. Friday was a great day.

On Friday, Cambria Cove arrived. Here are a few of my favorites from their pages...

They had me at this:

MOR Tea Cup Candle...what a nice hostess gift!

I've never met anything patent that I didn't like...gogovoyage Patent Laptop Sleeve.

Love the old world look of these Cameo Earrings with carved ivory insets...

These Portuguese soaps are amazing...the perfect Claus Porto Deco Collection sampler.

Aren't these pretty for a summer cocktail with your girlfriends? Sunflower Etched Glasses.

And they have stationery.
Be still my heart.

Obsessed with these Berry Cartouche Calling Cards.

Mandarin Sunburst Correspondence Cards. Flat gorgeous...

If you like any of the above, checkout their website. There are plenty more well-chosen gifts, accessories, stationery and candles.

Yours amidst stacks and stacks of retail wants and wishes,

Mrs. News Readin'

And we're back. With a Mommy Mafia Update.

2009-03-10T23:30:00.000-04:00

The Breaking News Team required a brief hiatus following some red wine fueled deep thoughts, a Homestead weekend with of our very favorite bloggers (and friends), as well as a sad event that we will get around to talking about - but not in this post.

After my introspective moment (bordering on pathetic pity party), which was very well attended by some new friends to this blog - thankyouverymuch - I needed a little bit o' the good times. And it just so happens that I had a weekend jaunt to the Grande Dame of resorts, the Homestead, planned with Sippycups and Happy Ho memaker for the following weekend. What good fortune!

To make the weekend even more fabulous - I was an (invited) interloper to their Cocktail Club gathering at Sippycups lovely home. Her margaritas weren't too shabby, either. Good Lawd. Needless to say, we got a late start to the Homestead the next day.

All images courtesy of The Homestead, Hot Springs, Virginia.

Aside from the brief Shining moment walking through the Grand Hall - the three of us giggled, consumed prosecco & Pom and brie in our room until dinner. Chateaubriand and bananas foster tableside in the 1766 Grille? Oh. Hell. Yes.

In our alcohol infused fuzziness, Sippycups declared that my life plan re-think was due to the lack of minis in my life. Read: I've got too much time on my hands. Ohhh...good idea - minis, said the pumped with prosecco Mrs. News Readin'.

Not so fast, Sippycups. I'm on to you.

And it proves - yet, again - that the Mommy Mafia is an impressive network that knows no geographical boundaries. But, does have excellent taste in resorts, food and fun stuff for their friends.

Loved every minute with you Ladies...Thank you.
More at 11.

Anthropologie: I love you. I love you not.

2009-03-01T10:45:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else have a love/hate relationship with Anthropologie?

Seven years ago, I went through a "If it's not from Anthro I don't want to know it..." phase. Even my bedding was from them. Their clothes and accessories made me feel like a keen-eyed, sophisticated, bohemian. And poor. Because it goes without saying that for all its gossamer tank, adorable skirt and embellished sweater gorgeousness, Anthropologie is well...es-pensive.

Are ya' with me on this?

I'm fairly confident I'm on their watch list of habitual returners. Without fail, I'll buy two items and return at least one due to buyer's remorse. Most recently it was a grey blouse that in the husband's most astute observation, "looked like a bunch of napkins" for $178. Thank you, TimGunn.

But, with one skim of a catalog - I am instantly transported back to that pre-Mrs. young woman, who fantasized of skipping across Moorish rooftops in Morocco with tousled Edwardian hair and a $198 skirt from Moth with a $88 mis-matched striped tank from elevens. *sigh*

Then I remember that I do not weigh 90 lbs and would like a damn clown in such an ensemble and if I'm going to don a $200 out-and-about outfit - Morocco ain't the destination. (Been there on our honeymoon - can you say cesspool?...do not bring it up to Mr. NR...it's a sore subject.)

Imagine my shock when I spied this bathing suit, actually picked up the phone and ordered it without any hesitation. Usually a purchase from them includes online deliberations for two-three weeks with multiple phone consults with the BFF, Hilary. And buying a bathing suit - no less!

Had the flame from all those years ago been re-ignited???

Buri Checkered Bikini

It's a little Betty Page-esque, and I'm hoping that's what it will morph this "I've been downing grande hazelnut lattes all winter" body into miraculously. High hopes, no?

If not, here's Plan B:

The Lorelei Halter in Black

Definitely will not be mistaken for picnic buffet table and lends an air of "mystery" with that mid-section ruching.

So I wait with bated breath - hoping that this impetuous purchase of a bathing suit, made while snow falls outside and my treadmill lays idle, will not leave me once again hating Anthropologie (and higher on the habitual returner watch list.)

Stay tuned.
More at 11.

Honey it's for you...it's that inmate again.

2009-02-28T07:49:00.004-05:00

Grab a drink. This is long one...My apologies.

A few weeks back I mentioned all of the attention a certain News Readin' Husband was garnering from the male portion of the viewing audience. (Now we know how Hugh Jackman feels...just kidding...we have no idea how he feels, but imagine it to be yummy in an insanely hot Aussie way.)

Wait, where am I? Oh, yes. Inmate communique.

For an entire weekend we received calls from a service called Pay Tel Communications that provides the phone services for various correctional facilities. And at all times of the day...3:30 pm on Saturday to 8:15 am on Sunday.

The phone would ring, I would pick it up and a very chipper recording would say,
"This is Pay Tel Communications and you are receiving a call from (insert self-recorded name of inmate Dave), an inmate at the Blank County Correctional Facility..."

If the message were anymore delightful, I would have brought a bundt cake to Dave and asked the Pay Tel Communications lady to join my tap dance class. (True story.)

After a few of these, I grew tired of tearing myself away from DVR'd Top Chef and stalking an antique suzani on Ebay to answer. So I tried to call Pay Tel directly to see if they could remove/block our number or maybe just let Dave down easy and say that the News Readin's are no longer accepting phone calls - only Facebook friend requests.

Incredibly, not a single human being works at Pay Tel. So I had to contact our phone service provider, who immediately deemed me insensitive to those serving time.

Me: "We keep receiving phone calls from the County Correctional Facility and I would like to block all the exchanges through Pay Tel."
Comcast: "Do you know someone at the jail?"
Me: "No and I'm not trying to get to know someone at the jail either..."
Comcast: " Well, it could just be that you have the number of an old friend and they are trying to reach them."
Me: "I sort of don't give a sh&% who they think they're calling - I don't want Pay Tel Communications to show up on my caller id again. Ever. Let's make it happen, Sport."
Comcast: "You should probably just take one call from them and let them know they have the wrong number and they'll stop calling."
Me: "Actually, Steve - I don't think they have the wrong number. But, I'll be happy to give them your extension at Comcast, so that when their 90 days are up for assault they can ring you to grab a coffee and just talk."
Comcast: "Have a nice day."
Me: "It's not looking good right now."

And, scene.

There is a limit to blocked phone numbers - 13 total. For most, blocking 13 numbers from reaching you would be sufficient - save for Bernie Madoff. However, in this case the County Correctional Facility / Pay Tel have wayyyy more than just 13 exchanges. So, even though I blocked all of the numbers I could, Dave & Pay Tel could still reach out and touch us from behind bars. (Sleeping with the lights on at night kinda-scary...)

Enter Mr. News Readin' and his close ties (and mutually programmed cell phone numbers) with The Law and specifically the 40+ administrative assistant in the Sheriff's Office, Shantall, who thinks he's hotter than Memphis in August. Let's be honest - you know she runs the damn show. He provided Dave's name and a list of the dates and times of the phone calls to our home.

With one simple phone call - I went from screening calls from Dave and my mother - to just my mother. Whew!

When I asked Mr. News Readin' who the inmate was...when this joker was getting out ...what he was in for, etc. (because it would be kind of nice to know if we are dealing with a petty thief or a rapist) - he said, "Oh, I didn't even ask."

You're a reporter and you didn't even ask any questions!!?? A little less time touching up your bronzer and a little more time getting the story - K?

Just to be on the safe side, the Sheriff's cell phone number is now programmed into my cell. Which could lead me to a cozy little cell next to Dave given my penchant for intoxicated texting and growing disdain for the renters behind us who play their music too loudly...

Stay tuned.
More at 11.

How to be better than Grandma...

2009-02-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

...in the eyes of a child. Momentarily.

My first name is fairly common, but my mother had a late-seventies moment (as in the 1970's) and replaced an "i" with a "y" and well - the rest is history. A history riddled with tears on vacations because I couldn't get a license plate for my Strawberry Shortcake bike...or barrettes for my hair...not even a pencil with my misspelled "y" for an "i" name.

Damn. Life was tough. Thankyouverymuch, Mother.

My own life experience is probably the sole reason why I am a fervent believer that gifts should be personalized. Because you just can...

Recently I've started bestowing the ever growing number of minis in my life books from Frecklebox.

What is more fun than an entire birthday book with your name spelled out on cakes every other page or a coloring book complete with fire engines and your name in big letters? The seven year-old in me says, "Nothing better.."

Preview the Birthday Book here.

Preview the Rev It Up coloring book here.

Preview the My Name is Book here.

They have a good selection and even a book for new big brothers and sisters. My guess is if the book has their name in it - it will lessen the blow of a new baby. Good idea.

Which would have been nice to have when my parents told me about the best Christmas present ever...my younger brother born December 27.

Mmmm. Not quite. See I was thinking more along the lines of the Strawberry Shortcake bake shoppe shaped like a strawberry.

And to add insult to injury - his name is totally normal and afforded him all of the personalized tchotchkes imaginable.

It's a miracle that I'm not more medicated...

More at 11.

Deep Thoughts for a Monday Morning

2009-02-16T08:12:00.005-05:00

Last week someone posed this question to me and I have been thinking about it ever since...

What is your greatest accomplishment?

Having not run a marathon, given birth to children or passed the New York State bar exam - instantly I felt like my life toils were silly, inconsequential and by no means accomplishments. The question made me cry. How foolish sounding - but I felt lackluster and pointless.

Am I being too hard on myself? Maybe. But, it has definitely made re-think my life plan.

So, I ask you dear reader and friend -

What is your greatest accomplishment?
Do you feel like it's yet to come?
Is it a collection of small things or one large event, moment, happening?

If you normally do not comment, please reconsider the usual lurk and weigh in on what may be my deepest post ever. Thank you very much.

We will return to your regularly scheduled retail fueled, News Readin' Husband coverage and general observations after this break from our local sponsors - Deep Thoughts and Red Wine.

Mrs. News Readin'

Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve

2009-02-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

Is there a greater classic American clothing staple than the white button down?

All together now - no, there isn't.

Mr. News Readin' grew tired of me stealing his and I grew tired of the too big proportions. And then I stumbled upon Claridge & King - the perfect white button down paired down to a woman's proportion.

Image courtesy of Claridge & King.

My shirt arrived, complete with monogram in Avery Script, on the cuff. I wear it all the time...over leggings with a cardigan and ballet flats on a plane, belted with skinny jeans and of course - to bed. It one of my best purchases ever.

Images courtesy of the News Readin' Archives.

Just in time for Valentine's Day - they've introduced a pink version.

Image courtesy of Claridge & King.

And a new monogram option with an open heart and single initial. Love it. Or put his monogram on your shirt. *Wink*

Image courtesy of Claridge & King.

Even the ticking stripe pouch they arrive in are pure perfection. FYI..be sure of your measurements. They can run a little big.

I consider myself quite fortunate to be married to man who finds white cotton shirts sexy. (Shhh...he thinks I bought it for him.)

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

Giving Bling

2009-02-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

In a time when the mall jewelry store trappings of Valentine's Day seem obnoxious, seek other options. (For me, every kiss begins with VCA. Most definitely not Kay.)

But, we are working with a limited budget this year. Maybe if I hadn't paid my taxes (ahem, Tom Daschle) I would be scoring a lovely Alhambra necklace...but I digress.

If you are sending your sweetheart in search for a little affordable bling, maybe suggest an option that would benefit a good cause.

The Breaking News Team loves the simplicity of Diana Warner jewelry and especially appreciates her Materialism Matters line which supports an array of non-profit organizations.

The Obligato Necklace - Obligato, Portuguese for something that one cannot live without - supports a well-digging project in Africa. Each purchase provides clean water for 10 Africans for an entire year.

The Parker Puzzle Necklace - A portion of the proceeds from each necklace goes to the Breakthrough Corporation, which works diligently to improve the lives of adults with Autism.

Beginning with You Necklace - Proceeds from the sale of this necklace support the Beginning with You Organization, that provides for vulnerable children internationally.

I'm also a big fan of her initial charms (which I wear almost daily) and bracelets, which make my wrists look magically minuscule.

Even if you don't go with one of the Materialism Matters necklaces, you can feel good about buying jewelry from someone who has such a big heart.

Your Jewelry Cupid,

Mrs. News Readin'

And for those who check daily anticipating the Presidential China post - it's in the works. Promise.

More at 11.

It's a date.

2009-02-10T09:14:00.004-05:00

Our Wedding Belle has selected October 17, 2009 as her wedding day and we are so excited.

She'll be married in the church both she and the News Readin' Husband were baptized. It's a beautiful little Episcopal church which dates back to the 1880's. You can read a little more history here.

One major hurdle right now...her husband-to-be wants 20 friends to be by his side at the main event. Ten groomsmen and ten ushers. The church is not that large and having ten up at the altar will look very crowded. Like - "Which one is the groom?" crowded. Yikes!

I always thought it was based on guest count - 1 bridesmaid/groomsman per 35-50 guests. Ushers to be added accordingly based on any number over 300 attending the ceremony.

Have any of you recently married lovelies faced the same challenge?

Of course the News Readin' husband and I are much more concerned about helping them choose a signature drink.

Wedding cake martini, anyone?

More at 11.

And they're off!

2009-02-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Horse racing, in my most humble opinion, is one of the most exciting sports to watch. The incredible strength and speed of the horses leaves me in awe. Equally awe-inspiring are the almost miniature people who ride these massive animals at break neck speeds.

We went to college with a guy who is supposedly now a jockey. Could have fooled me. Back in the day I was pretty sure he would be the 40 year old loser selling PB& J sandwiches out of the back of his Subaru Outback at a Widespread show and teaching Hooping classes at the New Age gym.

The Animal Planet has a new reality show, Jockeys: Win or Die Trying that follows seven jockeys - including two women - through the rigors of the racing world at Santa Anita.

After watching the first episode, I now am certain that our college acquaintance is most definitely that aforementioned 40 year old and in no way racing horses. Talk about extreme sports!

Just a few interesting tidbits...

There are no height restrictions on jockeys, only weight
Jockeys usually weigh between 108 and 118 pounds
Jockeys have the highest insurance premium in professional sports due to the high likelihood of injury
The sport is so dangerous an ambulance follows the jockeys around the track during a race
More than two jockeys a year are killed while engaged in the sport in North America
Most jockeys only make between $30,000 - 40,000 annually (dang.)

Jockey Frankie Dettori leaps off Raven's Pass in the winner's circle as he celebrates winning the Breeders' Cup Classic horse race at Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, Calif., Saturday, Oct. 25, 2008.

If you are looking for a break from the mind-numbing reality tv options - you may enjoy this. And think about how knowledgeable you'll come off at that Derby Party...not just a pretty face and a big hat, boys.

Jockeys airs on Animal Planet Fridays at 9:00 pm.

Big Easy Inspired Hostess Loot

2009-02-06T10:00:00.001-05:00

We are headed to a casual alumni gathering tomorrow night.

I don't know the hostess all that well, except for she is Catholic, grew up outside of New Orleans and is a tried and true Lilly-ist. My kinda girl. Knows how to party, manage guilt and does it in a hot pink dress emblazoned with lemons and lobsters.

She flat refuses to allow any of us to bring anything besides beverages. Smart move considering this group tends to find their way to a bottom of a high ball glass quickly and often.

So, I'm doing what any good guest would do - bring along a nice bottle of wine and these goodies for a nice girl from New Orleans:

In the Land of Cocktails , from the proprietor's of the Commander's Palace, a NOLA institution.
Anyone who enjoys a mixed drink and appreciates the usage of chipped ice - needs this book.

If you are serving a Big Easy beverage, your napkins need to be just as bold:

Pontchartrain Beach Fabric image courtesy of Hazelnut New Orleans.

Cocktail napkins in Pontchartrain Beach fabric from the fabulous Hazelnut New Orleans.
Combines it all...bright, Lilly-esqe fabric (exclusive to Hazelnut, BTW) with crowns, crayfish and even Mardi Gras beads. (Why am I not keeping these for myself?)

Here's a close-up of the fabric.

Pontchartrain Beach Fabric image courtesy of Hazelnut New Orleans. Designed by Bryan Batt and Tom Cianfich i.

They have it pictured on their website on this adorable cushioned bench. Do you not love it?!
The tote bag isn't bad either...

Image courtesy of Hazelnut New Orleans.

Enjoy the weekend! Big plans, no plans - do tell.

Mrs. News Readin'

DIY Segment: How to Bankroll Your Plumber's Boat

2009-02-05T07:01:00.002-05:00

When our master bath toilet started being temperamental four months ago, I begged the News Readin' Husband "to deal."

He snaked it about 26 times over the following weeks. When snaking stopped working, he marched up to our local hardware store to purchase a bottle of "It'll Take a Car Door off Its Hinges and Should be Handled in a Haz-mat Suit."

We had a big ceremony over the toilet as he poured out the whole bottle. I was suspect to this, confident that not only were we burning a whole through our pipes, but were not going to fix the problem. But I was reassured with, "The guy at the hardware store said it should do the trick."

The Inside Voice whispered, "If the guy at the hardware store is so well-versed on plumbing, why isn't he out there charging $100 an hour?" I silently agreed.

Shocker. Guess what didn't work? The only person surprised in all this is the News Readin' Husband. Even Putter knew better, who bolted from the scene to her Happy Place on the J. Adler.

"I can't believe that guy at the hardware store sold me me that stuff..."
Yep. Me neither.

Hours before my family descended on City K to celebrate Thanksgiving, he finally contacted a plumber we had used to repair a leak a few months back. (That time he couldn't come right away because he was out on his brand new pontoon boat. Hmmm.) The over-the-phone prognosis was that we needed a new toilet. So, the News Readin' Husband told him to go ahead and buy one and bring it over.

WHAT?! I'm sorry, but have you lost your damn mind? A new toilet installation? How does he know what kind of toilet we need? (Assuming there are differences....) All for the price of $1,250. Sorry, Doctor - I'm going to need a second opinion.

He eventually called another plumber, who came out to actually see our temperamental toilet. Imagine that? And the prognosis: there was a pen or toothbrush lodged in the pipe and his snake was big enough to get to it...(insert 9th grade giggling.) No new toilet necessary and left with my favorite parting words of any repairman, "I'll send a bill in a few weeks, just in case it acts up again and I have to pay you another visit." If he had been peddling life insurance, I would have bought some for me, the dog and the cat right then and there.

Of course the next chapter became - Who Put the Toothbrush Down the Toilet? dun-dun-dun.
Since everyone in this house is over the age of seven, it was pretty difficult to nail down the culprit. Mr. NR swears its me.

Yes, dropped the ol' Sonic Care in the bowl and said, "Ahh - screw it. (flush)." Not quite.

The moral of this story is being a good News Reader does not necessarily mean you are a Handy Husband. And, we are not allowed to go to the hardware store by ourselves or talk to the plumber with the big pontoon boat ever again.

More at 11.

Baby Gifts: Bottoms Up

2009-02-04T13:15:00.001-05:00

Between the inmate phone calls, being tagged 10 times to tell all my so-called friends on Facebook 25 things about me (I'm waiting to receive 25 tags before I respond), sorting Mr. News Readin's fan mail, deciding whether to do full monogram or single initial on my Snuggie, deal with dynamic of Kara the New Judge on American Idol and work - it's been a struggle to set the auto button on the coffeemaker at night - let alone think of creative baby gifts for all new arrivals of the mini-kind to the News Readin' circle of friends.

Love some babies! Especially those that will not depend on me for braces, bail, or college tuition. (Suleman octuplets excluded, of course. We are all on the hook for their bills.)

Personalized Diapers from Diapergrams are my standard baby gift, making life very easy.
They have great options for personalization and are great to work with if you wanted to create a team specific basket or even camo, for the family's newest Ducks Unlimited member.

All images courtesy of Diapergrams.com

They are also running a promotion with her personalized diaper apprentices (take that, Donald.) Mention "Diapergrams Sent You" and receive an extra dozen diapers:

www.AdorableDiapers.com
www.delightfuldiapers.com
www.dazzlingdiapers.com (this site will begin taking orders on Friday, Feb. 6th)
www.diaperscouture.com

Mr. News Readin' has on more than one occasion tried to get me to order a bushel with "Bad Ass Baby" printed on the back for his Fratty Friends' spawn. Ummm, no.

Shhh...should my resilience to the MM give way under the influence of several bottles of Rioja- if ya' know what I mean - it's how I'll tell him the big news.

Stay tuned. Up next: Big Brother and Sister gifts that will crown you Favorite Adult besides Grandma.

Mid Week Humor

2009-02-04T07:12:00.000-05:00

I want to adopt the E Trade Baby. But, only if he really talks.

This is one of the funniest commercials on television. Don't you think?

Happy Wednesday!

Mrs. NR

Orange you glad...

2009-02-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

When I was a little girl, I loved looking through the Spiegel catalog. So many pages, so many outfits (that my mother would never wear)...it is probably the sole reason for my deep-rooted catalog addiction.

Not sure what happened to Spiegel in the last three decades, but looks like they are making a run at a fashionable turnaround. Good news for us, gang!

I'm not usually a big orange fan, but these are the pieces that really caught my eye.

Double-Knit Coat Belted, with roll collar in pumpkin spice. Yum. And only $99!

Here's the belt they have paired with it:

Metal Hinge Belt. (Scroll down to find it on the link.)

Silk linen duster with 3/4 sleeves. Comes in great colors like graphite and pinkberry.

It's pictured with this Silk Bow Pin.

Also in a variety colors...perfect way to change up the coat quickly and easily.

Throw in a little purple, just for fun:
Pleated Suede Bag. For $59.00, it's a steal.

Don't get me wrong...there are plenty of standard Spiegel moments of over-embellished, bad floral moments. But, at least there is promise and at a reasonable price point.

Happy shopping,

Mrs. NR

The Parent of the Year Competition Heats Up

2009-02-02T22:00:00.001-05:00

Watch out, Campbells!

There is a new grossly irresponsible adult in the running for Parent(s) of the Year.

Can we get a round of applause for the thoroughly audacious, mentally disturbed, new mom to eight preemies and six (7) year-old children - Nadya Suleman formerly Guiterrez?!

As a taxpayer, I would like to personally thank Nadya for including me in the medical miracle that are her octuplets. First for the two months she has spent on bed rest at Bellflower Medical Center and second for the $200,000 birth of her babies affectionately called, A through H.

Ms. Suleman,
It takes a special person to pursue IVF based on the following:

being unemployed
living with their mother (who recently declared bankruptcy)
has SIX other children

The ASPCA wouldn't let you adopt a kitten, and yet someone thought helping you out with eight embryos was a great idea.

Being a burden to society as an adult is one thing , but forcing 14 children to be a part of your repugnant freak show is sickening and deplorable.

I am pleased to hear that you have taken the typical route for all spotlight hungry low lives - by hiring an agent and planning to support yourself by pimping your babies and your sad, pathetic story to news outlets and talk shows - oh and pursue a career as a tv childcare expert.

Absolutely! Who wouldn't take your word as gospel on parenting??!!

Nadya, dear - the sooner your story fades from our eyes and ears, we the public (who are bankrolling your little tribe), will be better off. Your children on the other hand will suffer significantly. They will never know a normal life and will one day know the truth behind their birth. What to do then, tv childcare expert? Surely you can get a group discount for 14 children in therapy.

In your acceptance speech be sure to thank the immoral and soon-to-be without a license fertility doctor who impregnated you and the 46-strong medical team at Kaiser Permanente Bellflower Medical Center, especially these three below.

Dr. Mandhir Gupta, the neonatologist who helped with the delivery and his colleague, Dr. Karen E. Maples, chief of service for obstetrics and gynecology, along with Harold Henry were all smiles discussing your "strength" and all of the dirty diapers in your future. Awww, gee.

You surely couldn't be the mother of 14 you are today without the gang at Bellflower and their media relations person, who probably sobbed with joy over the good fortune in landing your side show.

And let me thank you Ms. Suleman, for providing another shining example that even me and Mr. News Readin' could be better parents than you.

Most sincerely,

Mrs. News Readin'

Breaking News from Gobbler's Nob

2009-02-02T09:35:00.009-05:00

Dammit, Phil.

Being hoisted up in the air by the gentleman pictured above, is probably not how you saw your Monday beginning. I'd be irritated too - and equally not camera ready. Did they even let you take a brush to your tail? Ughh. State Tourism flacks are the worst.

With 13,000 people in the crowd, I'm sure you were slightly embarrassed. Hate that for you.

But, six more weeks of winter. Is that really necessary?

Seems like we might all be paying the price for some sour grapes of the NFL variety... Maybe you hail from a long line of die hard Eagles fans, and just hate to see the Steelers win the Big Game. Or you just want to get in a couple of more runs at Camelback. Maybe you slept in your contacts last night, making your shadow unmistakable. (Never a good idea, my man.)

Whatever your reasons - Candelemas will continue. Leave it to the Germans and their superstitions to put a damper on the approaching nice weather. (Not everybody wants to don their lederhosen and 100% wool Miesbacher jackets until April. K?) Just in case your middle school American history escapes you presently...Pennsylvania's earliest settlers were Germans.

A Miesbacher jacket

Hey Phil - here's a thought. Leave a "thanks for the good times" note in your stump and buy a one-way ticket to Vancouver. You can still enjoy life in a fur coat and the Winter Olympics are fast approaching. Surely they have some work for a seasoned groundhog, as yourself.

Sincerely yours in a very chilly way,

Mrs. News Readin'

P.S. If you are looking to do a tell-all interview for television, do call.

Fan Mail. Male Fans.

2009-02-01T16:50:00.006-05:00

Let me open by saying, I do not consider the News Readin' husband a celebrity. Others, who obviously do not know the man I am married to beyond his daily television moments - do.

How sad for them.

Mr. News Readin's fan base tends to be 65+, doesn't drive after dark and watches Wheel of Fortune nightly. In other words - old ladies. But in a surprising departure - throughout his news reading career, gay men, have also expressed interest in our favorite anchorman. You recall this joker from PA.

Prior to me being the Mrs., he was residing in far western Nebraska, reading news nightly for approximately 200 viewers and a couple of folks in Wyoming. (That number is a slight exaggeration...it may have been 185.) Not being the savviest of souls, he decided to keep his home telephone number published for public consumption. Super smart.

It started with a few hang ups on the answering machine, calls in the middle of the night and then the letters started coming to the station.

"Mark" found Mr. News Readin' to be friendly and attractive - on air. Mark suggested a very discreet, friendly meeting "just to talk" in a parking lot. Mmm...yes. Nothing says discretion and friendly like meeting a stranger in a public parking lot, Mark. Save the ambiance and intimacy of an interstate rest stop men's room for your second date...errr, meeting.

Mr. News Readin' although mildly flattered by the invitation, declined via email and thanked Mark for being a viewer. He went on to tell him that he looked forward to starting his married life in western Nebraska in just a few short months. (In my experience - no time in western Nebraska is short...)

Mr. NR was slightly freaked out, but learned a valuable lesson and our phone number will forever be unlisted.

Which is why I am totally freaked out that all last weekend I fielded phone calls from the county correctional facility from a man named, Dave.

I've said it once - and I'll say it again...sometimes it's tough being married to a man who would look better in my Old Navy lounge pants, knows what concealer is...and garners more interest from inmates than I would. Damn.

Stay tuned for Part II of our Fan Mail from Male Fans - live from the City K correctional facility and a one-on-one interview with the county sheriff's department.

This just in: Domino to Shutter

2009-01-28T13:35:00.003-05:00

So, so, so sad.

The March issue of Domino will be the shelter mag's last.

Read more here.

I'm too distraught to write anymore.

Off to throw myself on flea market find, reupholstered with Lulu DK Chant in Beige...
(Thanks for the inspiration dear, Domino...)

On the verge of tears and/or consuming several vodka drinks,

Mrs. News Readin'

It's in the bag

2009-01-25T18:16:00.007-05:00

If you are like me - you are ready for spring. Mainly because if I have to decide between which cashmere crewneck/cardigan/turtleneck/t-shirt to wear everyday for another eight weeks, it's going to get ugly around here.

This bag reminded me there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Ann Taylor. (I know - they've been surprising the heck out of me lately, too!)

Best part...on sale for $39.99.

And if yellow or cute bags are not your thing, they have these lovelies:

Gelsi Flower Flat in Blue Moon or Orange Peel.

Guess what? On Sale for $39.99.

I feel better already!

Happy Spring Shopping,

Mrs. News Readin'

Grey Gardens: What could have been reality tv's finest moment.

2009-01-24T11:16:00.003-05:00

First, grab a vodka gimlet. This is a long post. My apologies...

One of my all-time favorite train wreck type viewing pleasures is the 1975 documentary, Grey Gardens, about Edith "Big Edie" Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith "Little Edie" Bouvier Beale, aunt and first cousin of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis and her sister, (once Princess) Caroline "Lee" Bouvier Radizwill. (Gah. That was a lot of names to type.)

The documentary is named for the dilapidated 28- room beach house the two shared along with raccoons, legions of cats (and a variety of other unsavory house guests of the scurrying kind) on West End Avenue in East Hampton's Georgica Pond area.

Grey Gardens ca. 1915

To give you a frame of reference - if the Beales were alive today, their neighbors would include Steven Spielberg, billionaire Ron Perelman and until recently, Martha.

The eccentric (read: crazy) mother daughter duo lived in the rambling house in almost total isolation. Their bizarre and rather unhealthy lifestyle was brought to light after a series of visits by the Suffolk County Health Department lead to a New York Magazine cover story in 1972. It was only then, that their more famous relations provided the necessary funds to repair the home in order for it to meet Village codes. (!)

Little Edie in the mink and Big Edie seated, in a still from Grey Gardens, 1975

Their story prior to 1975 is way more interesting than the living in Easthampton squalor.
Little Edie claiming that had Joe Kennedy, Jr. not died in the war that she would have married him and become First Lady - not cousin Jackie...Big Edie pulling her out of school for two years claiming that she was too ill to attend but taking her on a shopping trip to Paris and the legend that Little Edie lit her own hair on fire so that she would never be beautiful to anyone but her beloved mother...this also lends an explanation (albeit, murky) to the ever-present head kerchief.

If you are wondering where I am going with this...we've arrived.

Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange recently worked the red carpet at the Golden Globes, drumming buzz for their HBO movie, Grey Gardens to air in April 2009, based on the lives of the Beales.

This is not the first act of homage to the grande dames of Grey Gardens - although I'm sure it required more hairspray to promote (Drew, I'm talking to you dear) than any of the other productions. The most critically acclaimed was a Tony award winning musical starring Christine Ebersole.

Something tells me that neither Drew or Jessica are Emmy or Golden Globe bound for their portrayals. But, I've been wrong before...(Brad and Jen are going to be together forever - the tattoo on your ring finger kind of together forever.)

Grey Gardens restored , 2003.

Big Edie died in 1977 and Little Edie sold the house for mere pennies in 1979 to Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee and his wife, Sally Quinn. The couple have completely restored the home and grounds.

The Beales never made a dime off of the documentary, but did become (in)famous. It makes me think if this were to happen today, they would have a reality show, at least two appearances on Oprah and Nate Berkus would be re-doing their kitchen complete with a cat door.

Sometimes truth is much more entertaining than fiction.

Thanks for indulging me...Stay tuned.
Coming up next: DIY with the Anchorman.

My name is...and I'm addicted to...

2009-01-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

I ran out of lip balm yesterday. I know, I know. You are thinking no big deal.
For me it is a Big Deal. Pucci shift dress at Off Saks for $39.99 - big deal. (True story to be told at a later date.)

So, there I was in Sephora - lips parched from moisture deprivation - in the checkout line, gripping the last two in the store. Glory be.

Cashier: "How old is your baby?"
Me: "Errr...I don't have any children."
(head swiveling around like an owl, making sure there were no mini stragglers about...)
Cashier: "Oh, this is baby stuff."
Me: "Right. But, I use this as lip balm."
Cashier: (rather loudly) "Reeaallyyy?? Isn't it for a baby's bottom."
Me: "No, not specifically."
Cashier: "That's wild. How did you know to put it on your lips??!!"
Me: "Because it says you can on the tube."

Seriously?
Swipe my rewards card and give me my damn balm before I have a meth-head freak out.

Warning: Once you go down this road, you can never go back.
Mustela Hydra-Stick, the crack-cocaine of lip balm.

If using it on my lips is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

When bad things happen to good News Readers.

2009-01-20T17:41:00.004-05:00

This Inauguration coverage seemed like Spring Break for big time news readers with cushy network gigs. (When is the last time you covered a school board meeting, Campbell Brown? Exactly. Cushy.)

Unfortunately, Mr. News Readin' was stuck here in City K - keeping it real. Today he went to a rally to interview people who were watching the inauguration. On television. In a hotel.

He was displeased to say the least. Especially since a lesser talented reporter from his station scored a tag-a-long gig with a news team out of Sacramento to cover the festivities in D.C. (In the land of news, this means she probably used to sleep with the news director at that station and in order for him to avoid any legal action he is now forced to let her ride his coattails, so to speak.)

At least she didn't make this egregious decision...

Really?

Millions of American will be watching and for years will recall your coverage of this historic event. Also, probably a bright, shiny moment professionally. Surely to be in your sample reel - that your agent will shop around to get you a better gig.

And you decide to have a Blossom moment.

Where's your best friend Six when you need her?

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

A News Readin' Wedding Belle

2009-01-20T12:51:00.005-05:00

Mr. News Readin' s sister called us Friday night to share some exciting news - she's engaged!
We are so happy for her and her sweet fiance.

Mr. NR and my mother-in-law have gone into full wedding planning mode. We are averaging about two phone calls a day, and probably an email or two off my radar.

It looks like an early fall wedding and Mr. NR wants to make sure it doesn't interfere with:
- SEC football watching
- Sweeps - the time of year when news stations make big deal out of things like garbage collection and city employees using their city-issued cars to road trip it to Tunica. News readers are not allowed to take any time off during these months - no exceptions.

And me? Well, I'm keeping a low profile until my assistance, advice or attendance are requested or required.

I did pick-up my standard newly-engaged gift for her.

From Mottahedeh.

One was given to me when I got engaged. Reading it every night before I place my rings in it, just makes me smile.

I hope it will make our Wedding Belle smile, too.

More at 11.

How to impress friends: Inaugural Fun Facts

2009-01-19T21:45:00.005-05:00

Well, Happy Inauguration Eve! Whether President-elect Obama is your guy or not, it is a very exciting moment in both American and presidential history. And in just 12 short hours he will officially be the 44th President of the United States of America.

Now let's get to the important stuff...

To celebrate this event, our local cupcakery has put together a Presidential cupcake combo including; a pina colada cupcake honoring his Hawaiian birthplace, a marble cupcake with chocolate frosting called Mr. Chicago and the White House cupcake - fresh raspberries in white cake topped with blueberry buttercream.

I ordered a mixed dozen of the bite-sized mini versions to enjoy tomorrow night with friends, who are seeking solace in food. Mr. News Readin' is totally annoyed that I am buying into the hysteria. We'll see what song he's singing when faced with a mini-Mr. Chicago...

Being a massive history geek, I thought it would be fun to share some inaugural fun facts that you can pass along as well-earned knowledge at the next cocktail party. (I know you were really hoping for a cupcake...)

Inaugural Firsts

George Washington's was the shortest inaugural address. Only 135 words!

William Henry Harrison's was the longest inaugural address, consisting of 8,445 words in 1841. He spoke for over two hours in frigid weather without an overcoat. He died just 31 days into his presidency and many blamed it on his inaugural weather without a coat. (Probably not the case. Most likely a common cold.)

The first inaugural ball was held for James Madison in 1809.

John Quincy Adams was the first president sworn in wearing long trousers in 1825.

Warren G. Harding was the first president to ride to and from his inaugural in an automobile in 1921.

Presidential Weather

Between 1789 and 1993, 35 inaugurations enjoyed clear weather.

During ten inaugurations it rained, and seven had snow.

The warmest inauguration was Ronald Reagan's first on January 20, 1981. It was 55°.

The coldest was Reagan's second on Jan. 21, 1985. It was 7°.

Passing the Torch

All but six presidents took the presidential oath in Washington D.C. The exceptions were:

George Washington - 1789, New York City; 1793, Philadelphia

John Adams -1797, Philadelphia

Chester Arthur - 1881, New York City

Theodore Roosevelt—1901, Buffalo

Calvin Coolidge —1923, Plymouth, Vt.

Lyndon Baines Johnson —1963, Dallas

The U.S. capital had not yet been transferred from Philadelphia to Washington, D.C. when Washington and Adams were sworn into office. The District did not become the seat of government until December 1, 1800.

Arthur, T. Roosevelt, Coolidge, and L. B. Johnson had all been vice-presidents who assumed the presidency upon the deaths of their predecessors, and none was in Washington, D.C., when the oath of office was administered.

Bueller...Anyone?...Bueller...
Only four retiring presidents have not attended the inaugurations of their successors. Those who were absent:

John Adams missed Thomas Jefferson's inaugural.

John Quincy Adams was not present at Andrew Jackson's.

Andrew Johnson was not present at Ulysses Grant's ceremony.

Richard Nixon was not present at Gerald Ford's inaugural.

Stay tuned for our upcoming special report on Presidential china. (Insert Oooohhhhh's and aaahhhh's...)

Taco Night Goes Glam

2009-01-18T22:00:00.000-05:00

Every night we embark on a culinary adventure at the News Readin' household - chicken, salmon or Mexican. We are well acquainted with Old El Paso meal kits around these parts. (It is one thing that I have gained in marriage that I could easily live without.)

Mr. News Readin' is especially fond of the Gordita kit. It includes a sauce that is a color beyond nature, that tastes like a blend of ranch dressing and queso dip. Mmm...yum. I can feel myself retaining water as I type this.

Nothing beats his big grin when he realizes that shredded cheese can be incorporated into his dinner. Ahhh...the things we do for love.

Taco night or heartburn that comes in a little yellow box night, would be much more tolerable if we dined on these:

Olé! Peacock Eye placemats. (Also available in green.)

From Vivre. On sale.

More at 11.

Major Airlines: Take Note

2009-01-16T07:27:00.006-05:00

In reading all of the accounts of yesterday's horrific landing of US Air Flight 1549 from LaGuardia to Charlotte - I hope major airlines gleaned an important detail.

The experience of age.

The pilot, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger of Danville, Calif has 40 years of varied flight experience. An Air Force Academy grad, who flew F-4 fighter planes, he has 29 years of flying time with US Airways. In addition, he is an airline safety expert who has consulted with NASA and other organizations.

It's not uncommon in today's poorly managed airline industry for pilots with the experience (and salary) of Captain Sullenbeger to be forced into early retirement and faced with evaporated hard-earned pensions.

I for one, am willing to sacrifice warm Diet Coke and pretzels and pony up an extra $25 for the likes of Captain Sullenberger to remain employed and enjoy a rewarding pension upon retirement. A seasoned pilot who can land a damn Airbus on a river, surrounded by one of the world's most densely populated major metropolitan areas is worth his weight in gold. Or American dollars.

So put him on the luggage scale and let me know - along with the countless other pilots who have the knowledge and experience to keep us alive in times of crisis in the air.

They are payed to know what to do when things go horribly wrong - not to make sure we make our connection in Cincinnati in enough time to hit the Cinnabon. There is no greater example of this than yesterday's incredible outcome.

Blessings to Captain Sullenberger and I only hope my next flight is in the back of a plane handled by someone as equally poised and knowledgeable.

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Bendel Wellies

2009-01-15T16:17:00.006-05:00

I'm a traditionalist and not known to openly pimp labels. (Major endorsement deals aside, of course.)

However, this sole pair of footwear combine two of my many favorite things - wellies and Henri Bendel.

Bendel Girl Wellies in Chocolate. Be still my heart.

Also in citrus and red.

Each pair comes with a signature stripe canvas tote. Need I say more?

Hope the rain holds off for at least for 7-10 business days.

More at 11.

Somebody around here is Fabulous!

2009-01-15T07:00:00.001-05:00

Oh, my!

The Lawyer's Wife has bestowed upon my humble leetle blog a "Your Blog is Fabulous" Award! Thank you so much, MPM.

I think the Lawyer's Wife is pretty darn fabulous and we would most definitely be sipping strong lattes at Starbucks together weekly - if we lived in the same county.

This fabulous award comes with a few rules:
Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 10 blogs which you think are fabulous.
Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

My Fab 10:

Legally Blonde Mel - OMG. Refined snarkiness at its best!
Granny Smith Green - So lovely. A daily must-read for me.
The Preppy Princess - A fellow CAP and a wealth of information for all things preppy!
Coterie - Chic, chic, chic. Recently engaged, her wedding blog is my new obsession.
Toad - Love him. His affinity for well-tailored clothing reminds me of a certain husband.
Le Petite Blog - Her football season posts made me want to drive to Lexington to tailgate.
Biscuits are Never Boring - She would be the most wonderful neighbor.
Peyton Place - Start reading just so you can get invited to her annual Christmas party.
Scented Glossy Magazines - I had to stop reading at work. Couldn't risk laughing out loud.
and of course,
Happy Homemaker - I consider it a privilege to call her my dear, dear friend. (She's gated. Sorry y'all.)

Now I have to share five addictions. I'll keep it to those that are not currently being treated by meds and therapy.

1) laboratoire remède alchemy moisturizer

2) Raspberry Chipotle Salsa (amazing with Hint of Lime Tostitos)

3) Jo Malone French Lime Blossom

4) FAGE Greek Yogurt with honey.

5) Anchormen. Any and all - but particularly the one I have at home.

Thanks again MPM!

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

This just in...for real.

2009-01-14T12:14:00.004-05:00

LIVE from the Breaking Newsroom

Here's an update on a story we've been following for you - just filed by our on-scene reporter, Leslie Ruth with affiliate Diary of a Southern Drama Queen.

Remember these idiots? Frontrunners for Parents of the Year:

Mr. & Mrs. Campbell and little Adolph Hitler

Apparently the state of New Jersey and the Division of Youth and Family Services decided that picking your kids' names out of the best-selling book "1,001 Nazi Names for your Baby" might be the tip of the iceberg of bad judgment calls.

According to the AP, the children were removed from their home. Details have yet to be released. You can read the full story here.

Sad, sad, sad. My heart breaks for those poor children.

Thank you to Leslie Ruth for that report.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

En Route: The Apocalypse

2009-01-14T07:00:00.002-05:00

Every time I feel like we are making strides towards bettering America (Scrubs getting picked up by ABC) something else presents that makes me say, "Oh, well. Better get a mani/pedi before I have to reconcile my poor decisions with a higher power."

I experienced that moment when I caught a promo of this new show on WE:

Little Miss Perfect

About the Show: "Little Miss Perfect is a journey into the world of children's pageants. Each episode follows two families as they practice and primp—all leading up to the stress and joy of competing for the title Little Miss Perfect. Featuring Michael Galanes, national pageant director for more than 10 years."

Nauseated yet? It gets worse. The premiere episode sounds like a real nail biter - a hairsprayed to the hilt, more makeup than a South Beach trannie - nail biter.**

(Nothing but normal here...)

"Brandi Jean has just come off a big win, but this 9-year-old beauty queen already has her sights on the next crown. At age 8, Ashley is a pageant veteran and the reigning Little Miss Citrus. In this episode, the girls will face off on a crowded Orlando stage. Pageant mom Jean is hoping a Marilyn Monroe-inspired number will help Brandi "wow" the judges, while pageant mom Tina decides that Ashley should go "big" and creates a brand new routine with only 3 days left before the pageant–leading to late nights and last-minute stress The $1,000 prize is up for grabs and the pressure’s on... Who will win the coveted title of Little Miss Perfect?"

What could be worse than pitting two elementary-aged girls against eachother to the tune of "It's Raining Men"? It can't get worse...can it?

Yes, dear reader. It can get much worse.

Meet the Pageant Director, Michael Galanes. From his bio page:

"Michael is a graduate of Providence College, Providence, RI and quickly moved to Orlando, Fla. to work with whom else, but princesses at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom! Michael performed as a face character in parades and shows throughout the park. He worked as a model throughout the world with Pro Model Management in Athens, Greece. No stranger to beauty, Michael served as a state director for Miss Vermont USA/Teen USA, NBC/Donald Trump Productions."

What the hell is a "face character"?? And model. Storied career. Oh, and I'm going to go on record saying that Mr. Galanes is very much a stranger to beauty.

Sadly, I wish I could say I were a stranger to this sign of the approaching Apocalypse.
It premieres February 18 at 10 pm.

**Before you send me a bunch of hate mail about how pageants provide excellent scholarship opportunities and inspire strength and confidence in girls and young women - just save it. It's your child and you can manage your role as parent as you see fit. But, this is my blog and I can wax sanctimonious, as I see fit.

Some Swapfest Sugar

2009-01-13T21:23:00.005-05:00

Prior to the holiday madness, I signed up for Just a Girl's Swapfest. It seemed easy enough.

For example - there weren't too many rules and I didn't have to sew an apron using at least three different toiles. Perfect.

Truth be known, I sort of lost track of the whole Swapfest thing until a box showed on my doorstep on Friday. Hmmm...a gift in January after the Epiphany. Exciting!

Humorous card with hot bod holding an iron. Good pick, JAG!

A stocked purse organizer, which is the perfect gift for me. My purses tend to be the size of toddlers - so sometimes finding a lip gloss can be like taking the dark cart down into the coal mines.

Stationery supplies galore! Zebra print binder clips, OPI nail lacquer, scrubbing/smoothing essentials, lovely little pocket notebook...all so thoughtful.

My favorite thing is Olive's Ocean by Kevin Henkes. There is something so thoughtful about sharing books with people. I sincerely appreciate such a personal touch.

Thank you, thank you - Just a Girl!

The Animal Odd Couple: Tissues Required

2009-01-13T11:48:00.004-05:00

A must watch for any animal lover!

My MIL sent this video - an installment of CBS News "Assignment America."

Steve Hartman is a great reporter/news reader and this might be one of his best pieces. Kudos to him for bringing us something that is uplifting and positive.

Grab a tissue. This is one of the sweetest stories...

Watch CBS Videos Online

News Readin's Attempt to Go Green

2009-01-12T20:11:00.001-05:00

The News Readin' household does its fair share of dry cleaning - especially with Mr. News Readin's many costume changes and my inability to buy more Dryel sheets.

Mr. News Readin' although, a fabulous dropper(er)-off(er) of drycleaning - is not so great at what do with the plastic coverings once he decides to wear that garment for a full day of news reading.

I usually come home to find them strewn on our bedroom floor. (Yes. I agree. His obvious aversion to the recycling bin might be a great topic for an Oprah show - being the Best Life Whatever Week / I Can't Believe I let My Producers Talk Me Into This Topic Again and all.)

In my effort to green up a bit around these parts, I've invested in these:

The Green Garmento.

A garment bag for your freshly dry cleaned garments and that you can use to drop off laundry in, as well. Made of 100% fully biodegradable materials - it eliminates the plastic coverings and reduces the icky chem smell from your clothes.

Some dry cleaners have started using these across the board for all of their customers. Ours is not quite there yet - so I had to buy these directly from the website. You can score a free bag if you provide your dry cleaner's contact info and they're not using the Green Garmento.

Don't worry, I've already sent a very nice letter suggesting a more chic color palette and the availability of monogramming.

I'm all about participating in saving the environment - but a girl has to look cute doing it.

More at 11.

Tibi Outlet Scores

2009-01-11T18:41:00.005-05:00

During Christmas on the Coast, I made a stop at the Tibi outlet on St. Simons Island, GA.

If you are ever in that neck of the woods and like some deeply discounted Tibi - get yourself to Redfern Village and my little slice of heaven. Over the years it has gone from a fulfillment office/backroom - to a legitimate little shop. (I can remember trying on clothes in the bathroom before they actually had dressing rooms.)

On a few occasions, I've had the pleasure of running into Tibi designer and founder, Amy Smilovic, who hails from the Golden Isles. Once she even asked where I had gotten my sweater because she loved the oversized buttons. "Umm...H&M." To which she replied, "I'm doing big buttons next season. It's great looking."

I am NOT worthy wearing my $18.99 H& M big button festooned sweater.

Anywhoodle, this is what I picked up on my last trip:

Ragtime Short Sleeve Gem Dress in Black. Retailed for $396 here. Ha!
Scored at the outlet for $104.

Casablanca print skirt. Retailed for $248. Scored at the outlet for less than $50!
They had this print in a dress, but not in my size. Grrr.

I'm headed back at the end of the month with hopes that they will have more shoes in size 7.5.

Stay tuned.

Special Report: Game Night Recap

2009-01-11T09:34:00.008-05:00

(My quickie centerpiece. I know. Underwhelming.)

We hosted our inaugural Game Night on Friday. Just a little background...We've lived here for a year and a half, have met people but, really have become friendly with just two couples. So, instead of waiting for some invitation to come our way - we put this group together. To keep it interesting we made sure that we asked couples that really didn't know each other.

And was it interesting. I'm going as far as to say it was a resounding success based on these points:

One of our Table Topics icebreaker questions - "What's the difference between good sex and great sex?" The Pilot in our group answered, "Attention to detail." Consider the ice broken.
10 people...a bottle of Jack, a bottle of Glenlivet, 1/2 a bottle of vodka, all the the Tequila Touchdown punch, 20 beers and then we went to our neighborhood bar for last call. Seriously.
We actually played games. Taboo and Cranuim.
Man crushes developed among the five men in attendance.
Mr. News Readin' smacked another woman's ass during a spirited round of Cranium - and no one blinked an eye. Nice. Public office here he comes...

Thank you, thank you to all of you that answered my call for help. Here I was worried about the food! They really didn't eat very much. (How could they? All their time was spent drinking...) It ended up being:

Mini Roast Beef sandwiches - delicious, big hit!
Spicy Shrimp Cocktail - perfect with some alterations to the recipe
Cornbread Salad - yummy, but it just made too much
Spinach Artichoke Dip - a solid choice, that everyone seemed to eat
Veggies w/ Lemon Thyme Dip - the dip is so easy and really good!
Cheese Slaw - yummy, but it was just so much
Mini smoked chicken wraps - never made it out of the freezer (whoops!)
Mini lemon squares and dark chocolate brownies - store-bought, perfect sizes
Tequila Touchdown Punch - huge hit, had to make a second pitcher!

The food barely made it to the table before the first couple arrived. A 7:30 pm start time on a work day was cutting it really close. And I did so much prep work Wednesday & Thursday to avoid a panic attack! Oh well.

Mr. News Readin' was very helpful, aside from the fact that when I got home on Friday to find our bed unmade. (He gets up after I leave for work.) Glad I decided to make it up, considering everyone made a group trip to see the addition the previous owners (in attendance) made to the master suite. Note to them: When you host I'm going to tell everyone how organized your closets are...Two can play that game.

Everyone got along and enjoyed the evening. Of course as a hostess, you can think all of the ways things could have gone better.

No one had more fun than everyone's favorite News Reader. Understandably exhausted from his hosting duties (read: out drinking all of his guests), he did not make it out of bed until 4:45 pm yesterday.

Must be nice to not worry about clean up.

We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Doppelgänger Alert: Barbara and Barry

2009-01-09T10:18:00.005-05:00

It's Friday, so I'm going to keep it light.

Last night I had a nightmare that Barry Manilow was going to perform at my Game Night gathering. (For Mr. News Readin' this would have been a dream...I'm convinced he wishes my name were Mandy.)

For some strange reason, I kept calling him Barbara. Finally fed up, he screamed, "I'm not Barbara Walters!!"

What?!

Barry stormed out in all his merlot-colored velvet sportcoat glory, without signing my coveted CopaCabana t-shirt. Bastard. (True story - I attended another school's prom at the Copa. Jealous? Thought so.)

I woke up thinking - "I have got to stop eating Thai food so close to bedtime."
The second thought was, "Barry and Barbara? So, that's how they got him on the View."

What say you?

Mr. NR was totally offended, as he loves Barry and despises Barbara.

More at 11.

The Anchorman: Illustrating the differences between the Sexes

2009-01-07T13:19:00.009-05:00

Mr. News Readin' is not known for keeping all his friends' details in order. Doesn't really update cell phone numbers, no clue as to where they reside and don't even ask the name of the new baby. For someone who should be really into the details - he's not.

Someone has learned their lesson.

Some time ago, Mr. NR's friend Zach moved to Atlanta. Changed the cell, the email address and sent an email with new contact info - all the things a responsible adult does when they move. Yay Zach! Good job.

Mr. NR did not make note of Zach's contact info.

They don't speak consistently on the phone and really only communicate via email and texts during football season. It seems Zach's old number was finally recycled by the cell phone company and was in use by a man named "Dave."

Mr. NR has unknowingly been sending texts to "Dave" about his UGA Bulldogs and other sundry former frat boy topics - drinking and sports mostly. I'm sure the errant bosom pic was also part of his communications.

The last two messages were particularly amusing.

At the start of UGA's appearance at the Capitol One Bowl, Mr. NR wrote: "It's ON."
I'm sure Dave was thinking, "What's on?"

When UGA won, Mr. NR wrote: "At least we ended things on a good note."
Dave wonders - "Did I just go through a nasty breakup on blackout mode?"

One would think "Dave" might have grown tired of Mr. NR's shenanigans. But, it took Mr. NR calling Zach / Dave and hearing the unfamiliar tone of Dave's outgoing voicemail message for the whole thing to come to light.

My guess is the whole time, "Dave" just figured it was one of his degenerate friends that changed their number and he had neglected to update.

Bottom line:
No two women would let this little anonymous texting thing go on for over a year.

Oh, and if you get an errant bosom pic from a mystery number, let me know.

More at 11.

My favorite last little bit o' Christmas

2009-01-06T00:04:00.006-05:00

The Adoration of the Magi, Peter Paul Rubens 1577 – 1640
Musée des Beaux-Arts, Lyon

Western Christians have celebrated January 6 as the Epiphany, or the arrival of the Magi, for centuries. Growing up Catholic, for me January 6 signified that and the last chance for presents. Need I say what garnered greater importance for me at age 10?

My mother who is a full-blooded, hot-tempered Italian and a good Catholic - also incorporated La Befana into our holiday. For those who may be unfamiliar, La Befana is an Italian folklore figure - cross between a witch and a sweet granny. She leaves all the good children candy and toys, while the bad children get coal. For some reason, we always got three books. Hmmm...

Long story short - the Magi asked La Befana for directions to find the Baby Jesus. (That's a myth...ask for directions? Please.) She couldn't help them but offered shelter for the night.

When they departed, the Magi invited her to join them on the journey to find the Christ child, but she declined, saying she was too busy with her housework. (Typical Italian granny.) She later changed her mind and tried to search out the Magi and the babe, Jesus. Unable to find them, she now continues her search for the baby Jesus on the eve of the Epiphany.

Consider me your blogging La Befana - minus the granny part. (Wish I couldn't lay claim to being called a witch once or twice, but you knew better...)

Three of my favorite books for you:

Saints: A Year in Faith and Art. Beautiful book with interesting, brief descriptions of saints corresponding with their day of beatification and incredible art. Even if saints or art are not your thing - it will make my mom really happy if you crack the binding.

Ahhh...more familiar territory - sinners. Sin in the Second City: Madams, Ministers, Playboys, and the Battle for America's Soul is a great book about the most famous brothel in American history, the Everleigh Club of Chicago. (My mom would not approve.)

My Misspent Youth: Essays - Not my autobiography, but witty and dripping with sarcasm. Love her writing.

I know this was long. Thanks for hanging in there for this last little bit o' Christmas.

Now, bring on the king cake!

Mrs. News Readin'