Attention to any boys who read this blog: this may be a post to skip, as my never ending obsession with ladyscaping is the topic.
Ok? So, run along now - basketball to be watched, wings to devoured, beers to be consumed - and if you can find the time to fit in some mulch spreading or mowing...by all means - contribute to the maintaining of the abode in which you inhabit. (Someone has a touch of holdover resentment from last weekend's lacking outdoor productivity by a certain husband who reads the news.) But, I digress...
As the bearing more than less season approaches, it's timely to launch a new product for the purpose of maintaining - specifically - Your Flower Bed. The genius minds (or their ad agency) at Schick have bestowed upon us ladies this little piece of equipment just in time:
The Schick Quattro for Women Trimstyle Razor & Bikini Trimmer
The apparatus itself doesn't offend me nearly me as much as the ad campaign that is bombarding the female consumer.
Print ads appearing in major magazines feature a lush garden with statuary amidst strategically placed topiaries in the shapes of inverted triangles and landing strips. The television commercial is even more laughable. Women strolling, jogging, meeting up with other women passing by overgrown greenery that transform magically into stripper enviable ladyscapes. Don't believe me? Check out the ridiculousness here:
Seriously, Ad Guy? Really? You sat around your agency war room throwing out ideas to market these bad boys and you came up with shaped shrubs? Are you also the geniuses that developed the Levitra commercial with the man throwing the football through the tire swing or the spurting kitchen faucet? Subtle, reeally subtle.
If you think for a second a man didn't come up with campaign, well - you're kidding yourself. Working in the advertising world has taught me that 9 out of 10 creatives are men and I watch Mad Men. My official backup data. So there.
I'm not some femi-nazi who believes a man created this tool to perpetuate the pressures of society to maintain a tidy Flower Bed. On the contrary, I am a woman who firmly believes in keeping things beach-in-Rio ready (should the occasion arise) for myself. And I appreciate the help.
Just in case my new waxer extraordinaire, Heather, is reading - it will never replace you. Our bond is much stronger. You have gone places no one has ever gone (with the lights on) other than my Lady Bits Doctor, and never once have you asked me to scoot down. Love ya', Girl!
Will I fall victim to the wily ways of Schick's advertising brilliance? Perhaps. Compared to the scouring pad/sanding system these jokers are touting - it certainly seems like the better home maintenance option.
Stay tuned. More at 11.
4 hours ago