Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Some things I will never understand.

I will never understand why Robin Givens married Mike Tyson. Or why Brad Pitt dated her for a minute, either.

I will also never understand why hamburger and hot dog buns are sold in different quantities than the actual meat products. Conspiracy on the part of commercial bakers? Probably.

I will also never understand why Hollywood starlets (or those that purport themselves to be) - who take extreme measures to maintain youth, beauty and above all - a body to rival that of a (somewhat) lazy anorexic - wear clothing that any normal human being would consider fug.

Yet you, young starlet, are duped to believe it is "fashion forward."

Come, now. Really?

Case in point:

Have you ever played that miserable game at a wedding shower when a team has to make the best wedding dress out of a roll of toilet paper? Looks like sweet Kirsten drew the short straw and Laura and Kate Mulleavy found some sparkly gray tp for this dress from their Rodarte line.

And what can I say about the peep-toe shoe booty business with buckles? I can say U-G-L-Y.

Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten...honey. Bright side - the Ferragamo clutch - is perfection.

In closing: call Rachel Zoe. Yeah - she'll make you feel fat - but better looking than this.
You might even achieve bananas.

Big hug,

Mrs. NewsReadin'


GrannySmithGreen said...


The clutch is fab--the shoes atrocious!

I suppose as the saying goes, "any press is good press". You'll have to ask Mr. News Readin about that.

Have a great week!

mes petit choux said...

Hilarious and agreed! Kirsten has always been a bit of a fashion trainwreck...

Kiki said...

Tragic. I always think these people need someone in their life who will tell them the truth, not what they want to hear.

That clutch is the hotness....wish I didn't have to carry every Moleskine notebook known to man along with a case of pens, mini sketchbook, camera, iPhone and lip gloss in two different colors everywhere I go....there's never enough room in those darling clutches for my things.

Legallyblondemel said...

Ahahaha. I now have that Gwen Stefani gem, ". . . that (expletive) is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s . . ." in my head, which seems fitting.

Legitimate TP concerns aside, I'll play devil's advocate & say I think she *almost* pulls this look off. The shoes of fuglitude kill it for me, but the fit of the dress looks good on her, and of course the clutch is perfection.

And for once, her hair & makeup don't look like she's taken up residence in a sauna.

just a girl... said...

Cracking up at the hamburger/hotdog buns. never thought about that.

The Lawyer's Wife said...

I agree! And to add to your list ...

Why do the people with the most tattos at the beach wear the smallest suits?

Why do the people usually wearing the teensiest suits at the beach usually need to be wearing a solid one piece?

Why do stars with serious problems not stay inside instead of parading in front of the press day in and day out?

Why am I drawn to their scary stories as if it were a train wreck?


Leslie said...

Rachel will make her look so much better...she will achieve bananas and Rachel will "die"!