Sunday, February 1, 2009

Fan Mail. Male Fans.

Let me open by saying, I do not consider the News Readin' husband a celebrity. Others, who obviously do not know the man I am married to beyond his daily television moments - do.

How sad for them.

Mr. News Readin's fan base tends to be 65+, doesn't drive after dark and watches Wheel of Fortune nightly. In other words - old ladies. But in a surprising departure - throughout his news reading career, gay men, have also expressed interest in our favorite anchorman. You recall this joker from PA.

Prior to me being the Mrs., he was residing in far western Nebraska, reading news nightly for approximately 200 viewers and a couple of folks in Wyoming. (That number is a slight may have been 185.) Not being the savviest of souls, he decided to keep his home telephone number published for public consumption. Super smart.

It started with a few hang ups on the answering machine, calls in the middle of the night and then the letters started coming to the station.

"Mark" found Mr. News Readin' to be friendly and attractive - on air. Mark suggested a very discreet, friendly meeting "just to talk" in a parking lot. Mmm...yes. Nothing says discretion and friendly like meeting a stranger in a public parking lot, Mark. Save the ambiance and intimacy of an interstate rest stop men's room for your second date...errr, meeting.

Mr. News Readin' although mildly flattered by the invitation, declined via email and thanked Mark for being a viewer. He went on to tell him that he looked forward to starting his married life in western Nebraska in just a few short months. (In my experience - no time in western Nebraska is short...)

Mr. NR was slightly freaked out, but learned a valuable lesson and our phone number will forever be unlisted.

Which is why I am totally freaked out that all last weekend I fielded phone calls from the county correctional facility from a man named, Dave.

I've said it once - and I'll say it again...sometimes it's tough being married to a man who would look better in my Old Navy lounge pants, knows what concealer is...and garners more interest from inmates than I would. Damn.

Stay tuned for Part II of our Fan Mail from Male Fans - live from the City K correctional facility and a one-on-one interview with the county sheriff's department.


thepreppyprincess said...

Oh, these are the worst Miss Breaking News, really the worst. I told someone last week that the folks who show in the TV station lobbies are a special form of whacked. Truly.

I'm sorry you guys have to deal with it.

Mom on the Run said...

That's very frightening. I mean the part about living in Western Nebraska (DOTR is from North Platte--KNOP TV was the only station they got when he was growing up--yeah NBC in the 70's. Ick.)

a. said...

Oh that's just creepy!

Legallyblondemel said...

Scary! I'm so very sorry that you two have to deal with this. You seem to be taking this with your usual grace and humor, but still - ugh. Frightening.

Ned said...

Very creepy!

News Readin' Wife said...

Oh, y'all it is totally freaking creepy.

The husband takes it in stride and I just yammer on about "being attractive to members of the same sex is the greatest of compliments..." just to make him feel better.

He may wear makeup everyday - but he is completely hetero.

Leslie said...

Ok, that is hilarious!! I have a really good friend who is on the news...I will have to ask him if he has ever gotten fan mail from male fans!! Too Funny! Love your blog by the way. I just found it and have been reading it ever since!!

Happy Homemaker said...

Yikes! But I love how you turn a scary story into a hilarious one!