Economic Downturn? Fo' Shizzle...

In a past life I worked for two major auction houses in their jewelry departments. In those days, everyone was still swooning from their dot.com buzz and buying, buying buying. But, it was becoming harder and harder for auction houses to get their hands on single-owner collections or privately owned important jewels. (No joke - that is the auction category - Important Jewels.) Most of what you see in their glossy catalogs is property from the trade/jewelry dealers.

Auctions are supposed to be glamorous, exciting, filled with big names and high bidding. It's all smoke and mirrors, baby. I learned quickly that auction houses survive off of the Three D's: Debt, Divorce and Death.

At the end of the day, most items are relinquished for sale under sad circumstances. Very few people are going to part with a fine piece of jewelry just because they don't wear it very often. Think about it...you're still holding on to your prom dress from senior year and you're never going to wear that again. Oh, no wait that's me...

So imagine my surprise and amusement when I heard about 'Hip Hop's Crown Jewels' at Phillips dePury & Company on October 1. Hmmm...which of the three D's brought this on..???

Things must not be so swell for Hip Hop's royalty if they are slingin' bling to make some chedda'. (But, I guess it's better than slingin' the other kind of rocks...) Not to mention, the Phillips people for procuring the sale, considering they make their living off of snob appeal and this has zero. And I'm not sure if the hip-hop community is interested in buying jewelry with patina (aka used.)

I know, I know - a portion is going to charity. But that's all about some good PR and the write-off. Let me just tell you...times must be tough. For realz.

On a lighter note...It's rumored that celebrity gyno, Dr. Rand Pink, is putting a pink and black diamond encrusted medallion that spells PUSSY (a gift from a rapper patient) on the auction block. Subtle. No? (And you thought a fruit basket to the office at the holidays was overkill?)

Could you imagine if you went in for your yearly and your doctor is rockin' that?! What's next? Is the nurse asking for your "sample" in Lil' Jon's chalice ?




Word. I'm out.