Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow.

Last week during the Breaking News Team's (damn near) daily trip to Fresh Market, we were dealt an incredible blow.

The News Readin' Husband having just left the comfortable, herb-y smelling confines of the Aveda Salon, was perfectly coiffed but looking a little glum. Usually his post-snip self preens around and says things like, "My girl said that I should let it grow a little up top for texture." read right, "his girl."

After milling about the prepared food section disinterested in even macaroni and cheese, he finally offered up:

"Nicole might be leaving."

Quickly I ran through mental images of reporters or producers at his station. But, then I remembered - he cares little for his co-workers. No, dear reader, this was much worse.

"Her husband just got his MBA and can't find a job - so, they might leave City K."

Gasp. His girl aka hair stylist could be vacating her station at the salon - leaving our favorite news reader without someone to tame his locks.

Having just cemented his relationship with Nicole with his 12th visit, I knew this would take some consoling. After all - it was just over six months ago that he had to experience the dread "cut and run" from his stalker/ex-hair stylist.

Me: "Maybe you could start seeing my girl." (I know...but it's language he can relate to...not a time to get technical with hair stylist or actually use her name.)

Mr. NR: *Big sigh* "I guess, but Nicole knows exactly how to cut my hair. I just don't feel like starting over."

The Inside Voice: I hear ya' buddy and so do millions of American women who are dating mediocre men - but sometimes we just need to move on...

Mr. NR: "And besides your girl isn't a Master Stylist. I saw the list."

Me: "Is that why your haircut costs just $10 less than mine?!"

Mr. NR: "You get what you pay for..."


I've said it once - and I'll say it again...sometimes it's tough being married to a man who would look better in my Old Navy lounge pants, knows what concealer is, garners more interest from inmates than I do, and now added to that list...uses the term Master Stylist and references some secret list shared with him by the girls at the salon check-in desk. Seriously.

Stay tuned for more on this late breaking story.


Legallyblondemel said...

Heh. I adore your tales from the other side of the looking glass; I can't quite picture a world in which my husband (1) knows what a stylist is; or (2) would willingly pay more than $10 for a haircut, although I actively encourage him on both fronts.

GrannySmithGreen said...

Oh, the stress! How is he dealing with all of it! I know, it's just all too much!

Really, this is so funny! My hubs wouldn't have a clue what a master stylist is. Hope yall are doing well!

Sara said...

Too funny. I recently had to find a new stylist and my husband didn't really get it, but then when "his girl" mentioned moving he "got it".

Gladys said...

Now see that is what my daddy would call a girly man. Of course we never talk about the time he bleached his hair blond. ;)

thepreppyprincess said...

Oh-my-oh-my, how can he carry on?!?
Let us know if there's gonna' be a telethon or anything to help cover costs associated with counseling, or stuff like that. We're there. (Oooh, bad, bad Princess!)

Have a great week to come Miss Breaking News!

mes petit choux said...

your blog is hilare! I think my husband would think "master stylist" would have something to do with the Masters.