Last week during the Breaking News Team's (damn near) daily trip to Fresh Market, we were dealt an incredible blow.
The News Readin' Husband having just left the comfortable, herb-y smelling confines of the Aveda Salon, was perfectly coiffed but looking a little glum. Usually his post-snip self preens around and says things like, "My girl said that I should let it grow a little up top for texture."
Uh-huh...you read right, "his girl."
After milling about the prepared food section disinterested in even macaroni and cheese, he finally offered up:
"Nicole might be leaving."
Quickly I ran through mental images of reporters or producers at his station. But, then I remembered - he cares little for his co-workers. No, dear reader, this was much worse.
"Her husband just got his MBA and can't find a job - so, they might leave City K."
Gasp. His girl aka hair stylist could be vacating her station at the salon - leaving our favorite news reader without someone to tame his locks.
Having just cemented his relationship with Nicole with his 12th visit, I knew this would take some consoling. After all - it was just over six months ago that he had to experience the dread "cut and run" from his stalker/ex-hair stylist.
Me: "Maybe you could start seeing my girl." (I know...but it's language he can relate to...not a time to get technical with hair stylist or actually use her name.)
Mr. NR: *Big sigh* "I guess, but Nicole knows exactly how to cut my hair. I just don't feel like starting over."
The Inside Voice: I hear ya' buddy and so do millions of American women who are dating mediocre men - but sometimes we just need to move on...
Mr. NR: "And besides your girl isn't a Master Stylist. I saw the list."
Me: "Is that why your haircut costs just $10 less than mine?!"
Mr. NR: "You get what you pay for..."
Hmph.
I've said it once - and I'll say it again...sometimes it's tough being married to a man who would look better in my Old Navy lounge pants, knows what concealer is, garners more interest from inmates than I do, and now added to that list...uses the term Master Stylist and references some secret list shared with him by the girls at the salon check-in desk. Seriously.
Stay tuned for more on this late breaking story.
3 days ago
6 comments:
Heh. I adore your tales from the other side of the looking glass; I can't quite picture a world in which my husband (1) knows what a stylist is; or (2) would willingly pay more than $10 for a haircut, although I actively encourage him on both fronts.
Oh, the stress! How is he dealing with all of it! I know, it's just all too much!
Really, this is so funny! My hubs wouldn't have a clue what a master stylist is. Hope yall are doing well!
Too funny. I recently had to find a new stylist and my husband didn't really get it, but then when "his girl" mentioned moving he "got it".
Now see that is what my daddy would call a girly man. Of course we never talk about the time he bleached his hair blond. ;)
Oh-my-oh-my, how can he carry on?!?
Let us know if there's gonna' be a telethon or anything to help cover costs associated with counseling, or stuff like that. We're there. (Oooh, bad, bad Princess!)
Have a great week to come Miss Breaking News!
your blog is hilare! I think my husband would think "master stylist" would have something to do with the Masters.
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