Last week during the Breaking News Team's (damn near) daily trip to Fresh Market, we were dealt an incredible blow.
The News Readin' Husband having just left the comfortable, herb-y smelling confines of the Aveda Salon, was perfectly coiffed but looking a little glum. Usually his post-snip self preens around and says things like, "My girl said that I should let it grow a little up top for texture."
Uh-huh...you read right, "his girl."
After milling about the prepared food section disinterested in even macaroni and cheese, he finally offered up:
"Nicole might be leaving."
Quickly I ran through mental images of reporters or producers at his station. But, then I remembered - he cares little for his co-workers. No, dear reader, this was much worse.
"Her husband just got his MBA and can't find a job - so, they might leave City K."
Gasp. His girl aka hair stylist could be vacating her station at the salon - leaving our favorite news reader without someone to tame his locks.
Having just cemented his relationship with Nicole with his 12th visit, I knew this would take some consoling. After all - it was just over six months ago that he had to experience the dread "cut and run" from his stalker/ex-hair stylist.
Me: "Maybe you could start seeing my girl." (I know...but it's language he can relate to...not a time to get technical with hair stylist or actually use her name.)
Mr. NR: *Big sigh* "I guess, but Nicole knows exactly how to cut my hair. I just don't feel like starting over."
The Inside Voice: I hear ya' buddy and so do millions of American women who are dating mediocre men - but sometimes we just need to move on...
Mr. NR: "And besides your girl isn't a Master Stylist. I saw the list."
Me: "Is that why your haircut costs just $10 less than mine?!"
Mr. NR: "You get what you pay for..."
I've said it once - and I'll say it again...sometimes it's tough being married to a man who would look better in my Old Navy lounge pants, knows what concealer is, garners more interest from inmates than I do, and now added to that list...uses the term Master Stylist and references some secret list shared with him by the girls at the salon check-in desk. Seriously.
Stay tuned for more on this late breaking story.
1 hour ago