This Week's "Awww...." Moment

This Week's "Awww..." Moment is brought to us by the Breaking Newsroom's resident dynamic puppy and kitty duo - Putter & Simon.


Yes, I am that kooky about my four-legged babies. And yes, that Lab looks really big. It's also an extremely unflattering angle.

What can I say? She ate her way through the holidays.

Come on. It's not like you passed on the bacon-wrapped scallops, either.

Stay tuned.

More at 11.

xoxo,

Mrs. News Readin'

Our New Addition

Calm down. The Mommy Mafia has not claimed me...yet.

We would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the newest member of the News Readin' household - Simon.


Big Sister, Putter is still trying to figure out why we had to get another kitty.

I told her that instead of costing us money like her (open heart surgery, visits with a canine cardiologist, physical therapy for ligament damage, etc.) - he is earning his keep.

He's already killed two mice. Oh, and he's only four months old.

We are so proud!

xoxo,
Mrs. NR

Pearl: How we became cat people

*Note: This is a little sad, a little weird and really long. Sorry.

Ash Wednesday night, I let our Sneaky Kitty outside for her usual early evening jaunt. When she didn't come back before we headed to bed, I was surprised - but not too concerned. She is a cat after all and completely independent.

Pearl aka Sneaky Kitty on her screened-in porch throne

The next morning Pearl still wasn't back...not good. So, the News Readin' husband searched the neighborhood. We blanketed the streets with fliers of sneaky kitty - even offering a reward. After all that, two trips to the shelter and a few phone calls from kind strangers telling us that had seen a cat, but not our cat - I was pretty confident that Pearl was gone and we would never really know what happened to her.

Before I go on with this let me say that I learned few things from the course of these events:
- The kindness of strangers never ceases to amaze me
- The bizarre-ness of strangers never ceases to amaze me
- The News Readin' Husband loves me
- The News Readin' Husband must have reeaallyyy loved that cat

On Sunday afternoon, a woman called to say that she had been walking near our home one evening earlier in the week and had seen a cat matching Pearl's description on the side of the road. Not too many people would actually call to say, "Oh by the way I saw your missing cat - dead on the side of the road." I appreciated her call.

Mr. News Readin' went to go check out the location, even though he had already carried out that morose exercise a few days earlier and had not seen Pearl. The woman even met him out there to show him the exact spot...but no sign of Pearl.

While at work on Monday, Mr. News Readin' received a phone call from a woman saying that her 21 year old daughter lives off of the nearby main road and saw a dead cat at the edge of her property a few days ago. (The same vicinity the woman on her walk had provided.) She had called her father (the caller's husband) to come and deal with the remains. So, the father buried the cat. Mystery solved.

This is where the story starts getting ridiculous and a little weird...
The woman went on to say- a couple had come by looking for their cat and they unearthed the body to id the cat - but it was not that couple's cat. Were we the same couple?

Uhhhh...no. But, our hard hitting reporter was not about to let this be an open case file. So, he arranged a time to meet the father and the daughter with a picture of Pearl to see if they could finally provide closure to our missing sneaky kitty.

When he arrived he found that they had once again unearthed the cat. For the second time. Seriously?!

After confirming it was indeed, Pearl - he expected they would simply return her to the ground and he would head home to let me down easy and fix a scotch. Guess again. According to him - the father said, "You are taking her with you, right?"

Mind you - Mr. News Readin' in a wool flannel chalk stripe Samuelsohn suit - was not exactly prepared to see our cat - let alone re-bury her. Sheez. But, he manned up, put her in the Tahoe and drove home to get a flashlight and a shovel.

He felt strongly that he shouldn't bury the cat in the yard, for fear the dog would sniff her out or worse - bring her into the house. Good call. There is not enough liquor in this county for me to deal with that scene.

Clad in his Italian wool suit, in the rain with a flashlight in his mouth - Mr. News Readin' found a nice spot to lay Pearl to rest. Could you imagine if someone saw him? I'm sure that didn't look suspicious at all. Regardless, he is a good, good man for carrying all this out to provide me with closure.


We got a cat following a mouse issue and ended up with another four-legged family member. A cat who killed plenty of birds, mice and snakes in her one year and three months on this earth to feel proud yet, was the most affectionate cat I have ever known.

Sneaky Kitty takes on the fierce Hot Pink Boa

Pearl, the kitten

We miss Pearl, but know she is in a better place - using someone else's Lee Jofa club chair as a scratch post and drinking all the 2% milk she can manage.

I'm happy to say she made us cat people.


Stay tuned. More uplifting news at 11.

The Animal Odd Couple: Tissues Required

A must watch for any animal lover!

My MIL sent this video - an installment of CBS News "Assignment America."

Steve Hartman is a great reporter/news reader and this might be one of his best pieces. Kudos to him for bringing us something that is uplifting and positive.

Grab a tissue. This is one of the sweetest stories...



Watch CBS Videos Online

Holiday card recap

Just in case you were wondering...(Don't worry. I know you weren't.)

Being that we couldn't rustle up any children for our holiday card picture, we went in a new direction this year.

Holiday Ivy Pattern Red from Iomoi

I love most of Iomoi's design work. Fun colors - very Hollywood Regency with a preppy flair.

Have to tell you though, I was fairly disappointed in the weight of the stock. Additionally the envelopes were slightly larger than the card and were printed with a cream and brown Iomoi logo design interior. (Sort of clashed with the pattern of the card.)

If I had read the full description, I probably could have saved myself the Debbie Downer moment. Oh well. The upside is I only did a limited quantity.

Because after we snapped this beauty of Putter - there was no way she wasn't getting a photo card!

Mr. News Readin' insisted that Smug Marrieds with children were to receive the non-picture card, except for family. All others received the Shutterfly special of us and the gorgeous creature you see above. (Please do not let Sneaky Kitty know she did not make the cut for the Christmas card...she's vindictive and I like my furniture.)

Now I have an excel sheet with 120 names on two different worksheets for picture and non-picture recipients. Seriously. Because life is not complicated enough.

They made it into the mail - hand addressed, all personalized and with a stamp lovingly adhered by Mr. News Readin'. What a good elf.

My good elf has informed me that under no circumstances will we be sending a picture card without children next year.

Hmmm...That might explain all the mistletoe he's hung around the house.

More at 11.

Frontrunners for Parents of the Year

We here at Breaking News (Mr. News Readin' and I) pride ourselves on being able to spot ill-equipped parents at fifty paces.

Not because we have children. To the contrary - because we don't. We recognize our lacking skill set to meet the challenges of parentdom and wish others would be equally as honest with themselves.

For example, our cat is sometimes forced to eat dog food because we forget to buy kitty food. In the parent realm that could mean our tot might have to survive on Riesling if we're out of milk.

Big Neon Sign flashing...WE SHOULD NOT PROCREATE.

Then we come across people like the Wentzs and these fine folks from New Jersey - who force their idiocy on their poor innocent children and are surprised when the world (or at least a ShopRite bakery employee) receives them coolly. Read the full story here.

Mr. & Mrs. Campbell and little Adolph Hitler

Hey, jackasses...err...I mean Mr. & Mrs. Campbell, naming your children Adolf Hitler and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation is nothing short of absolute stupidity, not to mention in the poorest of tastes. (JoyceLynn alone is criminal.)

Why not put a little more effort into your dental care and their education and a little less time using a Sharpie to put a toothbrush moustache on your 3-year-old...and forcing your small mindedness on America's future.

Oh, and nobody is buying your German descent bullsh*t. K?

But, thank you...

For renewing our confidence in the fact that even we would be better parents than you two jokers.

The Breaking News Team

Domesticated help

Or the lack thereof...

I went to change our bed linens the other night and this is what I found:



That would be one Lazy Dog and her partner in crime, Sneaky Cat.

I know they lack opposable thumbs, but the least they could do is tidy up before hopping in for a nap.

We have paid hundreds of dollars over the years for beds with fleece liners, with bolsters, with microfiber covers...but they all pale in comparison to our bed and the couch in the den.



At least Putter humored me by looking pitiful. The damn cat didn't even open her eyes.


Stay tuned. Part II of our ongoing in-depth investigation of the Mommy Mafia is up next.

Weekend Update

As I mentioned, the News Readin' Husband is on a Testosterone Team Building Retreat with some old fraternity brothers in Charlottesville, VA. This annual golf outing is referred to as the WannaBeer Cup - a take on the PGA's hallowed Wanamaker Trophy. (Could I be anymore underwhelmed by their cleverness?)

The NRH checked-in earlier and all seems to be going well and everyone is fratting hard. (If you need a refresher course on Fratting check out this site.) So while, he was swilling Jack & Coke on the front nine, I was going to take care of a few things around the house and then head to Lowe's to start making an upholstered headboard for the guestroom. It was all going well until about 9:08 am EST.

We were having our new treadmill set-up at 10 am. So, I got up at 8:00 am, had a cup of coffee, walked the dog, started some laundry, made the bed and hopped in the shower. So far, so good. I left the door to our screened-in porch open so Putter could come and go as she pleases through the doggy door. Big mistake.

After showering, I'm sitting on our bed applying lotion and contemplating today's ensemble when oh...holy...shit...here comes the cold blooded killer kitty, Pearl with a freakin' bird in her mouth. I scream and completely insult Pearl by my lack of appreciation, so she takes the prized kill into our guest room.

At this point, the dog starts barking at the cat so that she too, can get in on the avian action. Ding-dong. What the...? These people are never on time and these guys are 45 minutes early??!! Oh, and then the phone rang. Mind you, I'm still in a towel with lotion everywhere, sopping wet hair, a dead bird in the guest room, a killer kitty and a barking dog. Ding-dong.

This is not a clothing optional moment. So, I run and throw on Bids Day shirt ca. 1996 and my standard hot pink Old Navy lounge pants. As soon as I open the front door, I see dead bird fly down the hallway. Obviously, the dead bird - not so dead. (Worthless cat.) For 15 minutes, me and two men I have never met before ran through our house trying to catch killer kitty and the bird.

Somehow, the cat, the dog and the bird ended up outside. Thankfully, birdie lived to fly another day. Pearl was totally pissed that the goofy dog had foiled yet another skillfully planned kill. I'm pleased they only broke two terracotta pots and I'm not dealing with a bird, dead or alive.

The Killer Kitty: Pearl

To hell with actually using the treadmill...After all that madness I just needed some Essie Mademoiselle and the latest edition of Cosmopolitan. Pedicure!

To lessen the blow of being without Mr. News Readin' for 48 hours, I purchased a fabulous white shirt with monogram pour moi. All I can say is that I love the Claridge & King website so much, I had to buy a shirt. Love the logo, love the look, love the concept. I went with the Avery Script monogram on the cuff in charcoal. Any thoughts?

Don't worry, I didn't lose sight of the big project: make upholstered headboard for guest room. Mission accomplished for under $150 and I might add, it looks fab-u-lous. (Pictures forthcoming.)

Due to the above mentioned successful headboard, all other household chores will be postponed until tomorrow. Tonight, I'm looking forward to catching up on Mad Men and a drunk-dial from Mr. News Readin' about 3:30 am...just like the old days.