Sunday, October 5, 2008


What Would Brian Williams Wear?

As far as fashion forward anchormen go...Brian Williams was rockin' the purple power tie well before the rest and obviously is fond of the self-tanner. Yum.

W.W.B.W.W is the super fun game we play on Sundays around 2:30 pm. That's when Mr. News Readin' starts asking about a clean white shirt and what ties he should festoon to be everyone's favorite Sunday night anchorman.

I don't mind that he seeks counsel regarding his attire. I'm flattered he appreciates my keen eye for what will read well on camera...but I just wish he would not ask me while I'm:

1) Catching up on DVR'd Oprah
2) Catching up on blog reading
3) Window shopping on the interwebz
4) Planning our weekly menu (Old El Paso Gordita kit, Weight Watchers Key Lime Pie yogurt)

I remain stationary during the entire exchange and shout out suggestions, while Dr. Oz tells me that I'm rotting by body from the inside out because I don't take fish oil supplements. (Whatever. I prefer lobster.)

Which leads to the real issue...his tie cycle.

Make no mistake, Mr. News Readin' knows exactly when he last wore a tie. It's insane. I'll suggest (shout) the Ben Silver blue and gray tie and he'll say, "No, no, no...I wore that two weeks ago when I did the story on slowing fireworks sales."

"Mmm, that's right." (Inside voice: Who has two hours to work out - Gwyneth Paltrow?!)

This man keeps his ties in color order on a rotating rack. Once a tie is worn it moves to another rack and is worked back into the rotation in a timely fashion. Three weeks is the minimum gap between wears. In my estimation, he owns 100 to 150 ties. Seems excessive, but I guess if he played professional basketball I wouldn't care how many hi-tops he owned. (I especially wouldn't care if he had a $10 million deal with Reebok and his John Hancock on the shoe. Anchorman endorsed tie deals just don't seem to be as lucrative...)

The organization and cycle of the tie-wearing borders on an Israeli military operation. Take no prisoners and never deviate from the plan of action...It amazes me. This is the same man who doesn't understand that pulling the laundry out of the dryer and wadding it up in a basket is not the last step in the laundering process.

And to complicate matters, he has new school clothes en route. Just like you may have gone shopping for white polo shirts and khaki pants to outfit your little ones, the News Readin' Husband ordered three new suits for the school year. Semi-custom. Because that's how he rolls.

This presents a whole new set of W.W.B.W.W. moments...because it always goes back to our on-air fashion inspiration:

And while we're at it - shall we take stock of Mr. News Readin' and BW's similarities...

Luxe locks
Natural looking bronzer
Stellar styling (obvi...)
Good at reading the news

Oh, fair Brian...your days in that chair are numbered.


The Doctor's Wife said...

And what about that tie endorsement deal? I think you might just be onto something...

Karen said...

I love Brian Williams!

Your post was hilarious!