Friday, September 5, 2008

Newsroom Rumblings

While the News Readin' Husband is off on a Testosterone Team Building Retreat (golf outing with fraternity brothers), I'll fill you in on the latest newsroom rumblings.

The weekend anchor is pregnant. And according to Mr. News Readin', she's been in this state "for-ev-er." Girlfriend experienced contractions the other day and was ordered to bed rest. That sucks. Poor girl. Oh and it turns out she has not been pregnant for an infinite amount of time, as reported by the NRH - and is actually 27 weeks.

Do you recall in the movie "Knocked Up" how everyone around the network was not-so-much about K. Heigel's pregnancy? That's a pretty accurate depiction of how management feels when on-air talent (and talent-less) present themselves with child.

Television news is all about consistency. Same face, same time. And that goes doubly for women. For cryin' out loud - if you want to go a shade darker or lighter with your hair color you had better consult your News Director before you do it. The last thing they want is a bunch of phone calls and emails about "not being the station I've watched for 40 years" because you decided to go with Chestnut 051 instead of your usual Chestnut 052. And they will write, call and email until you go back to chestnut 051. Promise.

Being pregnant kicks "Same face, Same time" in the a#$. You are going to look different. And the worst part - maternity leave. Being she's the weekend anchor, it's less of a big deal. you know Lester Holt because he's the anchor for the NBC Nightly News Weekend Edition? No. You know him because he fills in for Matt Lauer on the Today Show and he has a weird jaw/mouth thing going on...

Anywhoodle, the fill-in weekend anchor spot is like blood in the water for shark reporters who want cushy jobs behind the big desk. All of the fame and glory one could imagine achieving through local news and never having to report live from the State Fair again...

Mr. News Readin' being hard hitting political reporter, thought Management would never sacrifice him during an election year. No, not that election. We just filled 9 county commission seats. And next month, they're voting on liquor by the drink. (You think I'm kidding? We're in the South.) His journalistic prowess was needed weekdays. For sure. And besides, his main concern: missing a moment of college football. Particularly his almighty University of Georgia Bulldogs.

Oh you know what's coming...That's right gang. But have no fear! College football will not have to sacrificed in order to read the news both weekend nights. Mr. News Readin' will be off Friday and Saturday. Then on Sunday night, he'll catch us up on the ongoing interstate construction and banter with the ridiculous weatherman.

Fridays off? I say "SA-WEET!"

Guess who just took over dry cleaning, two loads of laundry and miscellaneous chores of my bidding? You guessed it. Everyone's favorite Sunday night News Reader.

1 comment:

Happy Homemaker said...

Sounds like a promotion to me!! Maybe now you two can procreate??!!