Every time I feel like we are making strides towards bettering America (Scrubs getting picked up by ABC) something else presents that makes me say, "Oh, well. Better get a mani/pedi before I have to reconcile my poor decisions with a higher power."
I experienced that moment when I caught a promo of this new show on WE:
Little Miss Perfect
About the Show: "Little Miss Perfect is a journey into the world of children's pageants. Each episode follows two families as they practice and primp—all leading up to the stress and joy of competing for the title Little Miss Perfect. Featuring Michael Galanes, national pageant director for more than 10 years."
Nauseated yet? It gets worse. The premiere episode sounds like a real nail biter - a hairsprayed to the hilt, more makeup than a South Beach trannie - nail biter.**
"Brandi Jean has just come off a big win, but this 9-year-old beauty queen already has her sights on the next crown. At age 8, Ashley is a pageant veteran and the reigning Little Miss Citrus. In this episode, the girls will face off on a crowded Orlando stage. Pageant mom Jean is hoping a Marilyn Monroe-inspired number will help Brandi "wow" the judges, while pageant mom Tina decides that Ashley should go "big" and creates a brand new routine with only 3 days left before the pageant–leading to late nights and last-minute stress The $1,000 prize is up for grabs and the pressure’s on... Who will win the coveted title of Little Miss Perfect?"
What could be worse than pitting two elementary-aged girls against eachother to the tune of "It's Raining Men"? It can't get worse...can it?
Yes, dear reader. It can get much worse.
Meet the Pageant Director, Michael Galanes. From his bio page:
"Michael is a graduate of Providence College, Providence, RI and quickly moved to Orlando, Fla. to work with whom else, but princesses at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom! Michael performed as a face character in parades and shows throughout the park. He worked as a model throughout the world with Pro Model Management in Athens, Greece. No stranger to beauty, Michael served as a state director for Miss Vermont USA/Teen USA, NBC/Donald Trump Productions."
What the hell is a "face character"?? And model. Storied career. Oh, and I'm going to go on record saying that Mr. Galanes is very much a stranger to beauty.
Sadly, I wish I could say I were a stranger to this sign of the approaching Apocalypse.
It premieres February 18 at 10 pm.
**Before you send me a bunch of hate mail about how pageants provide excellent scholarship opportunities and inspire strength and confidence in girls and young women - just save it. It's your child and you can manage your role as parent as you see fit. But, this is my blog and I can wax sanctimonious, as I see fit.
8 hours ago