I ran out of lip balm yesterday. I know, I know. You are thinking no big deal.
For me it is a Big Deal. Pucci shift dress at Off Saks for $39.99 - big deal. (True story to be told at a later date.)
So, there I was in Sephora - lips parched from moisture deprivation - in the checkout line, gripping the last two in the store. Glory be.
Cashier: "How old is your baby?"
Me: "Errr...I don't have any children."
(head swiveling around like an owl, making sure there were no mini stragglers about...)
Cashier: "Oh, this is baby stuff."
Me: "Right. But, I use this as lip balm."
Cashier: (rather loudly) "Reeaallyyy?? Isn't it for a baby's bottom."
Me: "No, not specifically."
Cashier: "That's wild. How did you know to put it on your lips??!!"
Me: "Because it says you can on the tube."
Swipe my rewards card and give me my damn balm before I have a meth-head freak out.
Warning: Once you go down this road, you can never go back.
Mustela Hydra-Stick, the crack-cocaine of lip balm.
If using it on my lips is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.
3 days ago